Jokes workshop

I’ve been working on my collection of penises but I keep losing the ends. Got any tips?

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Been working on a joke about the North Korea situation. Here goes:

Following the success of Dennis Rodman’s diplomatic visits to North Korea, the American’s are now considering sending a famous indie musician over to speak to the Supreme Leader. They’re hoping for a Kim deal.

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this “joke” is good for another 15 minutes:

“April is indeed the cruellest month”

Tell you what, I’m glad my penis doubles back on itself.

How come?

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Something along these lines (it only ‘works’ if you know a bit of history):

“Have you heard that, in honour of the upcoming Royal Wedding, The Queen has ordered that all the men of England from the Midlands up to the Scottish border have to change their name to that of the groom?”

“No! Really?”

“Yes. It is to be called ‘The Harrying of the North’.”

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I’d be lying if I said I was working on this joke, but here are the two basic ingredients. I can’t really be arsed to think this through:

  1. @1101010

Theolennium Dome?

Very old school

Working on this one -

A man once told me Mumbai is in the North East of India… I told him no it’s not, you’re talking Utter Pradesh mate!

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Did you hear about the guy who copied Rubens in mucous?

He was a Phlegmism Master.

Rumours going around that Boris Johnson wants to make the wearing of religious headgear compulsory under law.

Turns out that it’s just a turban myth though.

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Walked past a school earlier having a fundraiser. Had a delicious looking outdoor BBQ. It’s scheduled to rain, but still - tempting fete.

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Something about a dog trying to steal a lady’s religious dress but getting the wrong thing, due to his misunderstanding of cultural apparel. He was burka’n up the wrong sari.
(requires sari to be pronounced saree)

Should this say ‘Phlegmish Master’?

I live for this response tbf

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I’m not going to explain my joke to you but yes

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Lost a load of my stock market profits investing in children’s playground apparatus. Swings and roundabouts innit

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Something about a handdryer being addicted to cocaine as it has too much blow.

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Reckon there’s anything in “so much for the tolerant Leffe”? @hip_young_gunslinger ?

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Anti sceptic cream