Jokes you've made that will never get the recognition they deserve


#1

Called my baby son Vladimir Pukin this morning after his daily protest against me leaving for work in a clean shirt. No one around to give me due applause. Now it’s a potentially long wait until I find the time to deploy it in front of a reasonable audience without wasting or overcooking it somehow.

You?


#2

Still pissed off my knock knock Europe joke doesn’t get more traction. People just stop after Europe and go ‘ah right’ FUCKING FINISH IT OFF YOU DICKS!


#3

Joke would be on you anyway mate


#4

#5

I properly ‘did’ CG in a thread a couple of years ago but I had to ask for it to be deleted due to circumstances at the time. Shame that.


#6

Where do Londoners apply for jobs?

LinkedInnit


#7

what


#8

Hundreds mate


#9

made what I thought was a pretty great joke about anohni on twitter ages ago. 2 favs.


#10

Nah the joy ok the joke is shouting ‘NO EUROPE WHO!’ as they’re answering :sunglasses:


#11

what was the joke?


#12

At some family event, my uncle was at the bar settling the bill handing over a wad of cash, but just had a single glass of wine in front of him and i go ‘blimey, what year is that?’


#13

was pretty gutted I couldn’t go to that festival, but when I saw anohni had been added to the lineup I thought “aw naw, anohni’s on an aw noo”

cheers


#14

#15

old work colleague was telling another work colleague how to spell his surname ‘Timoney’ by saying “T.I. Money” and i said “is that your rap name?”

got a laugh but i think it deserved a round of applause as well.


#16

6/10 i reckon


#17

generous


#18

well, yeah, it’s a friday so i’m feeling kind!