Jokes you've made without a flicker of acknowledgement (rolling)

This one-sided exchange at the station café a few minutes ago:

“Hi, can I have a tea, please? And an i
a moment later
“Oh, it sounds like I’m on Blockbusters!”

Not a flicker of recognition. Admittedly not the strongest of jokes but still.

Anyone else? You can nominate jokes you’ve made on here if you like, but I’m primarily thinking of face-to-face conversations, meetings, presentations etc.

I did not deserve the tumbleweed for this one on the All Killa Legends page.

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My friend came back home after travelling for a year or so and was convinced that her living room wall was a different shade when she left (it wasn’t, no one had decorated). She just couldn’t believe that it hadn’t changed.

I quipped ‘hmm, it must be a pigment of your imagination!’

Now that is an excellent joke, I’m sure you’ll agree. It got nothing.

Still angry to this day. What a quip!


Yes you did.


That’s a decent joke tbf

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Well forgive me for not accepting the opinion of the Netrunner Fun Hoover…


Not so much making a joke as reacting to one, but that time that my old boss said that our dentist client was coming in for a meeting at two thirty and I burst out laughing then had to explain what was so funny while he looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in the world still haunts me.


Oh yeah, the time that one of my gf’s friends was round for dinner and asked why we had three whisks (actual answer: because we’d been renting separately and it was just one of those things that happens when you consolidate possessions) and I said “because I’m a serial whisk taker” and it didn’t even get a titter.


Approx 2,384 posts on here (not that I’m counting or have a list or anything)

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Actually it might have been “compulsive whisk taker”.

We’re you expecting anger, or maybe disappointment?

My uncle was stood at the bar paying the tab for our family bash handing over about 500 quid but had a small glass of wine in front of him and i goes ‘bloody hell, what year is that!’



Can’t remember the joke, it was about hoovers but no one heard it except for my (then recent tv), she repeated it and everyone in the room laughed. She brought it up and apologised about it the next day though.

We are you every one?

i posted this to adam johnson when he shared a guardian article about populism yesterday


pretty solid, did 10 likes which is good numbers for me. a chris morris kind of bit imo. anyway AJ responded back with “where is that in the article?” so i said, “i can’t believe this got you of all dudes, i’m very proud of myself rn” and he goes, “i’m confused”. so i said, “i was kind of riffing on the brass eye feel of the article, it reminded me of the cake episode.” and a few minutes later he deleted his comments because he realised it was a joke he’s failed to get. :roll_eyes:

i really like adam and his media analysis but as with a lot of leftists he can seem remarkably humourless sometimes.


I think you’ve baffled the whole internet here.


I’m not kidding when I say it literally took years for me to understand this joke after first hearing it.

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That’s much more than a flicker. That’s practically a bonfire of acknowledgement right there.