Jokes you've made without a flicker of acknowledgement (rolling)

trust me it’s hilarious

3 Likes

I have at least five whisks and I don’t get up until nine.

2 Likes

We use a reporting system here called Cognos. In a meeting I once referred to the two people in the entire business who understand it as the Cognoscenti. Absolutely nothing.

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in the article there’s a whole bit where they go on about taking samples of speeches from a range of populists, and analysing the populist content contained within them, and they assign a percentage of how much populism was there. i probably should have included this for context.

I find it takes this level of explanation for any great joke

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Just to clarify, I don’t actually think that explaining it has made it funnier. This is why my reply was so funny

Stop, stop, he’s already dead!

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I’m still very, very upset about your nirvana one upthread theo.

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the reason the joke is hilarious, is because i was taking this thinking to its illogical conclusion, adbsurdum et procto, and that is why the bit is funny. i’m sorry you don’t understand humour.

I don’t know what you mean.

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Reckon a half hour set starting with a punchline, and spending the rest of it working in context to explain in forensic detail why the punchline is definitely funny, could actually be a pretty funny stand up routine

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Alright Stewart Lee.

This is completely different, this set only lasts half an hour

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Best

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a big egg

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Sounds like there are 100 of them then, not two.

This one could be a bit contentious but my friend is a very nice person and said it off the cuff not to cause offence:

We were in Leeds staying at a friends house and due to go go karting. Our other friend phones up and says ‘Alright Schumacher’ to which my other friend ( who is gd at go karting) replies ’ I am still in bed if that what you mean’ he was still in bed. I only realised the ‘joke’ about 10 mins later.

(He did apologies as it was bit of an off joke)

Said a college sounded like Tom Waits when he had a sore throat. Was always going to lead balloon, that one.

Same happened when I told a school it sounded like geddy lee

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Did it sing like an ordinary guy?