Jokes you've made without a flicker of acknowledgement (rolling)

trust me it’s hilarious


I have at least five whisks and I don’t get up until nine.


We use a reporting system here called Cognos. In a meeting I once referred to the two people in the entire business who understand it as the Cognoscenti. Absolutely nothing.


in the article there’s a whole bit where they go on about taking samples of speeches from a range of populists, and analysing the populist content contained within them, and they assign a percentage of how much populism was there. i probably should have included this for context.

I find it takes this level of explanation for any great joke


Just to clarify, I don’t actually think that explaining it has made it funnier. This is why my reply was so funny

Stop, stop, he’s already dead!


I’m still very, very upset about your nirvana one upthread theo.


the reason the joke is hilarious, is because i was taking this thinking to its illogical conclusion, adbsurdum et procto, and that is why the bit is funny. i’m sorry you don’t understand humour.

I don’t know what you mean.

1 Like

Reckon a half hour set starting with a punchline, and spending the rest of it working in context to explain in forensic detail why the punchline is definitely funny, could actually be a pretty funny stand up routine

1 Like

Alright Stewart Lee.

This is completely different, this set only lasts half an hour

1 Like



a big egg


Sounds like there are 100 of them then, not two.

This one could be a bit contentious but my friend is a very nice person and said it off the cuff not to cause offence:

We were in Leeds staying at a friends house and due to go go karting. Our other friend phones up and says ‘Alright Schumacher’ to which my other friend ( who is gd at go karting) replies ’ I am still in bed if that what you mean’ he was still in bed. I only realised the ‘joke’ about 10 mins later.

(He did apologies as it was bit of an off joke)

Said a college sounded like Tom Waits when he had a sore throat. Was always going to lead balloon, that one.

Same happened when I told a school it sounded like geddy lee


Did it sing like an ordinary guy?