Just lost my job designing temporary tattoos


They said see you later boy


Lost my job as a guillotine operator, which ironically put an end to my severance pay.


Fired from my job as a care worker.

Don’t care.


Lost my job at Cambridge Analytica.

Apparently i was subverting democracy.


Lost my job sending semaphore signals because I got too slow at the end of the day.

Fair enough, I was really flagging


Lost my job dismantling ferris wheels, which I thought was really unfair.


Got sacked as a gravedigger - I reckon it was my poor sense of direction that did me.

I really lost the plot.


I’ve got a bad track record in the photographic industry. My career at Kodak failed to develop, leaving Polaroid shook me, and then I was fired from Canon.


Don’t be too negative, focus on getting some exposure for your skills.


Fired from my job as a lumberjack the other day.

Just couldn’t hack it any more


Got fired from my job as a marine biologist because, apparently, the way that I was personifying the large sea mammals and getting too attached to them was “unprofessional”

Oh the Hugh Manatee!


The best ones on here take a paragraph of set up!


Quit my job reducing death sentences to lesser penalties.

Couldn’t take all the commuting.


I got this joke. Also, your old employer just took me on.

I saw what you did there.


Gah, just lost my job decorating holes in the ground full of water.

I thought I was doing pretty well


I resigned from my job making bread after a nice little windfall. I don’t knead the dough any more.


My previous job was in the Warsaw Piggyback Wrestling team. I didn’t last long there - climbing the greasy Pole is exhausting.


I got fired for always being a week late


Got fired from another job last week for partying too much.

I was absolutely raging, but at least I went out on a high.


I got fired from my job designed the opening credit sequence for the BBCs flagship saturday night sci fi entertainment drama.
Apparently it’s not “What”, it’s “Who”, you know.