Just lost my job designing temporary tattoos


Got sacked and lost my copy of Rudimental’s second album, but at least Mike Skinner offered me a piggy-back.

Now I’m out on The Streets with no Home.


Lost my job as a gigolo after yet another substandard performance.

Couldn’t give a fuck.


Lost my job as a programme commissioner after I green lighted a series featuring a certain Seattle rock star in hand-to-hand combat with various other frontmen.

Mark my words, Arm wrestling doesn’t make for great TV.


I didn’t get hired as an accountant at the herb farm due to my lack of experience with sage.


I work for a company of cannibals. I turned up late for the company picnic and was given the cold shoulder


I actually just quit my job as a proctologist.

Couldn’t stand working with those arseholes any more.


I left my job reviewing Stephen King books.

Actually feels good to be finally done with It.


It’s a sad day today, but I’ve had to hand in my notice at the Rodeo Circus. I’ve completely lost confidence in my colleagues; they’re all utter clowns and total cowboys.


This thread reminds me of why I had to end my career as a limbo dancer for hire. I just got sick of always bending over backwards to please clients.

How's your career / existential crisis going?

I applied for a job in Australia, but seems I don’t have the right koalifications.


I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn’t do it anymore.


Got fired from my job in the sperm bank for telling everyone to get a load of this guy when someone walked in.




I’m too highbrow for this place


Care to explain it for a thicc-o like me?



didn’t have enough experience of the accounting job i went for

it’s accrual world


They actually fired me from my last job for not being creative enough!

I’m not making this stuff up.


I’ve got this really funny story about the last time I got sacked! The boss called me into her office and said “Scagden, we are going to have to let you go, your attendance record is simply terrible”. Oh it was hilarious!

I guess you had to be there.


I was cast in a play as a child who kept having to remind the adult characters that they were not the same age. Unbelievably, I got canned for constantly mangling the grammar in my lines.

“I kid, you not.”