Just lost my job designing temporary tattoos


#21

Got made redundant from the bridal shop, so had to begin selling my organs for funds.
They had my guts for garters.


#22

Quit my job as a skydiving instructor but at least I jumped before I was pushed


#23

I heard all premiership ref’s are being laid off to pave the way for video technology.
I think that’s a bridge to VAR


#24

Lost my job fixing vintage Citroëns after they found out I lied on my 2CV

This isn’t even close to working, I know


#25

I’ve quit my job as a hotel housekeeper.

I’ve made my bed and now I must lie in it.


#26

Did you hear about the potato merchant with no grip? They had to give him the sack.


#27

You have to put a backslash before each so it doesn’t think you’re turning italics on and off.


#28

I’ve repeatedly tried to quit my job as a Sicilian magnet manufacturer

But whenever I thought I was out, they pull me back in again


#29

Lost my job making counterfeit cash

It’s ok though, the money wasn’t great.


#30

Picked up a new job picking vegetables for salads. Backbreaking work but worth it for the extra celery


#31

Lost my job avoiding adverbs

Now it’s onwards and upwards!


#32

Quit my job working at a flair cocktail bar.

My boss is a tosser


#33

kin ell


#34

some of these have been genuinely ban worthy


#35

Take it to the joke workshop.

Maybe something around der Chevvo?


#36

The Dire Straights cover band I was representing let me go after they realised all I wanted was money for nothing


#37

Lost my job making increasingly small passport photos.

I guess, in the end, my face didn’t fit.


#38

Got a job working for a carpenter doing the measurements for doorframes and cupboards and that. The money’s shite but I love working out doors.


#39

Just got a new job installing an imaginery front door.

Can’t knock it.


#40

Lost my job as a floatation tank supervisor.

It’s my own fault, they told me not to go making waves.