Just lost my job designing temporary tattoos


Some friends of mine from Romania were so upset after seeing Jake Gyllenhaal and Rebecca Ferguson’s 2017 film about the International Space Station that they not only quit their jobs but they left their whole lives behind to go to America and remake the film from scratch. They said they were hoping to make a better Life for themselves.




I don’t think I can better this.


Just renegotiated my working pattern in my contract as a Dolly Parton impersonator.

Working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living!


I very, quite, rather, somewhat, just, still, almost, fairly, really, kind of, sort of, lost my job a little bit.

They said I was overqualified.


I just got fired from my job for supergluing a perennial evergreen herb to my fingers.
I don’t know what I’m going to do with all this thyme on my hands.


Just lost my job getting slightly aroused all day.

Time for semi-retirement.


Lost my job as an evil overlord. I was too good for it.


Lost my job making ketchup when they moved the factory overseas.

Guess my job was out-sauced.


Lost my job for making shit jokes on drowned in sound all day instead of doing any work.


Stopped designing bungalows for a living to concentrate on regular houses
Needed to make some big steps in my career


Lost my job as a man on fire, a job once conducted by a famous French chemist.

I was put out too, Pasteur.


aaaand we’re done.


let’s hope so


I lost my job as Cher’s favourite Sonny Bono impersonator when, after many long years of service, the powers that be decided to bring in another Cher instead (harmonies or some such reason). I know I need to be more cutthroat, but I can’t stop thinking, oh well, Cher and Cher-alike.


Marie curie?


Barely even know her!


I have lost my job.


Quit my job to set up a business building miniature bungalows but there was one tiny flaw


… go on?