Justin Bieber wants to fight Tom Cruise

Yes, that Justin Bieber and yes, that Tom Cruise.

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whoever wins; we lose

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Fight! Fight! Fight!

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Cruise would tear him limb from limb

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Cruise would snap him like a dry twig

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I dunno Cruise is no doubt fitter and stronger - but all his combat experience is highly choreographed with stuntmen who fall over when he touches them

Bieber might surprise him with a swift kick to the balls

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Isn’t Cruise about 80 now though?

When he heard about this, I bet Tom Cruise did that loud laugh and thigh slap thing that he does.

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Sounds like an early draft of an Atlanta episode

would rather see a royal rumble where BTS start in the ring and waves of 7-person teams of popstars rush the ring to try and take it over. all that dance athleticism must give them somewhat of an edge

As Cruise stands over Bieber’s broken body, feeling victorious, Katie Holmes rushes in and smashes him over the head with a steel chair.

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Yeah, but I think it’s impossible to overstate how seriously Cruise would take this if he accepted the challenge.

He might well kill Bieber if it happened, which would be a laugh (a dark moment for modern society, and we’d all have to take a good look at ourselves afterwards, but definitely a laugh).

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I think Bieber would have all the physical advantages (youth, fitness, slightly taller), but Tom Cruise would win because he’s not in possession of all his rational senses, and you have to take that into account.

XENU POWER BABY

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I think JB would take it because Cruise probably hasn’t been hit for decades. He’ll be confused and wondering why he isn’t winning.

Didn’t Holmes basically escape his evil clutches with their children years back

Oh wait she’s on biebers side

Bieber would do an elaborate ring walk and probably dance in the ring, but Cruise wouldn’t do that - he’d do a full patented Tom Cruise sprint from the dressing room into the ring, then immediately start with the roundhouse kicks. Probably bite Bieber’s nose off as well.

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this has reminded me of the time @guntrip walked round ATP with POWERED BY XENU written on his arm with a marker pen

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Cruise would almost certainly train himself to be able to live without air, or blood, and with minimal brain stem activity.

“How have you prepared for this fight, Tom?”
“I’ve spent six months training my body to be immortal.”

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Damn I was cool