When was the last time you flew a kite? Kite surfing doesn’t count. Pick one thing at a time.

Back when I was a young teenager, bored and browsing in WH Smiths like most Saturdays, we found this kids book that had buttons which played little audio recordings, and for one of the recordings it was supposed to say “The clown has a kite” but when you pressed the button it indisputably said “The clown has a cunt”.

We stood there in Smiths pressing that button on that book so many times cracking up laughing that to this very day I cannot hear the word kite without thinking “the clown has a cunt”.

Really don’t care about kites by the way.

when i was a lad

go on

i flew a kite

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make a thread about something

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Used to fly one with my mate Mark. Kite Mark.



I reckon it was about 28 years ago, in the south west section of this field:

Here it is again, from the hypothetical perspective of the kite, had the kite been really high up:

Here it is from the hypothetical perspective of someone who was unknowningly going to happen upon me flying my kite in the southwest corned of the above field, moments before they reached the field.


feels like I’m actually there

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Happy to include you in the theatircal re-inturpretation; there are plenty of roles up for grabs.

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I would like to be “nearby dog walker looking on suspiciously”

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Don’t like pricks at the beach with those stunt kite things. Very needy imo.

That’s a good part. Just so you know, they sometimes kept a bull in the field to the north, so be sure to check any signs before letting “your” dog off the lead. Also, between takes, you’ll be excited to know that I once found a large patch of four leaf clovers in that very same field. be warned though, I’ve attached some bad happenings to those four leaves. They were very cursed.

This has gotta be a lie. Tell me this is a lie.

That is 100% not a lie. That was in fact a true story.

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6 June for me. We recently moved near to what is, for inner London, quite a big hill. Here’s Offspring I having a go…

Was fun - would kite again :+1:

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Have a little kite that fits in a pocket that I take to the beach with the kids sometimes. Last flew it about 2 years ago I reckon.