When was the last time you flew a kite? Kite surfing doesn’t count. Pick one thing at a time.
Back when I was a young teenager, bored and browsing in WH Smiths like most Saturdays, we found this kids book that had buttons which played little audio recordings, and for one of the recordings it was supposed to say “The clown has a kite” but when you pressed the button it indisputably said “The clown has a cunt”.
We stood there in Smiths pressing that button on that book so many times cracking up laughing that to this very day I cannot hear the word kite without thinking “the clown has a cunt”.
Here it is from the hypothetical perspective of someone who was unknowningly going to happen upon me flying my kite in the southwest corned of the above field, moments before they reached the field.
That’s a good part. Just so you know, they sometimes kept a bull in the field to the north, so be sure to check any signs before letting “your” dog off the lead. Also, between takes, you’ll be excited to know that I once found a large patch of four leaf clovers in that very same field. be warned though, I’ve attached some bad happenings to those four leaves. They were very cursed.