My brother once told me about the aftermath of a wedding when a lot of the guests had slept in the marquee. He woke up in the middle of the night and rolled over to meet the gaze of a young lady right next to him who was in the midst of ‘having love made to her’. Apparently she held his gaze for far too long.
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Cwbaft
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your brother sounds like a right wee cunt
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Was going to post this!
He proudly wears a school hoodie with the nickname Tory Boy on it. All you need to know tbh.
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yeah I think so
I was going to say that I cannot imagine anyone under the age of 30 being a Tory, but then I pictured myself wandering round Cambridge on May Ball week and I remembered how many young Tories are out there.
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I do like you pervo; thread always delivers when you’re about x
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Yes. It was bad. Thanks for reminding me.
Once did it on a sofa when we thought someone was asleep on the floor next to us. Turns out they weren’t asleep. To add insult to injury I trod on them on my way out.
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sounds more like the other way round
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Think I’d like to have sex whilst someone watches.
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FTFY.
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At an air Bnb in Slovenia where the host just walked into our room to bring us breakfast while we were properly banging
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Living like an absolute king, there
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‘Oh yah. For sure, I’ll just leave your food here…’
I aim to please 
Yeah. Worst one was when the guy was so drunk that he didn’t realise what was going on, sat down, and started to have a conversation with us.
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He’s a financial advisor and has a huge chip on his shoulder about education (he didn’t go to uni)… had a massive paddy when i was laughing at the exit polls last year and screaming about how uni students were all brainwashed into voting for Corbs and how a Labour government would ruin him but have no effect on my life. (Labour pledged to ban 0 hours jobs and I was on a 0 hours contract so I pointed this out and he went upstairs to cry and splash one out over pics of Thatcher, probably.)
His tweets were hilariously pious the next morning and my best mate called him out on it hahaha.
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were you having a Smeesome?
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