Last really stupid thing you did


On Saturday, I put petrol in my diesel car.

It cost me £190, 3 hours, dignity, and me and my lad were fucking freezing.

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got £50 cashback from an ASDA self-service till and forgot I had done it and left the money in the machine.

This was a while ago but it’s the only thing that comes to mind right now

Bent over to pick something up whilst carrying a pint of water

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pressed the accelerator instead of the brake by accident at a roundabout entrance today and my teacher looked as though he shit himself.

Isn’t there a sign by your hole saying “DIESEL”?

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No excuse really, but it happened because I’ve been driving my dad’s petrol engine for a few weeks, and became indoctrinated.

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Washed my hair with shower gel.

I’ve been doing this all week because my shampoo is in a box but I don’t know which box.

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Schrödinger’s Shampoo


Think it’s Head and Shoulders actually.

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Missed the last train back from Cardiff (to Bristol) last Thursday. (due to my inability to retain timetable info). We managed to get a cab back for £80. We’d just seen Melvins though so it was OK.

fell over on my garden path when drunk. Bag of three BK whoppers cushioned my fall somewhat.


Made someone in my work go on a wild goose chase looking for some Irish customs documentation. Realised about 10 minutes after they went down to the archive to find it that the documents didn’t exist because Belfast isn’t in Ireland.


Left my keys in my front door overnight. Luckily we live in a block of flats so it wasn’t so the obscene stupidity of it wasn’t quite as bad.

Left my phone charger in an air bnb.

Something dumb and shit at work

took my clean, dry bedsheets out of the tumble dryer, which is in the garage, and dropped them on the filthy, dusty, cobwebby, literally never been cleaned floor

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that must have been incredibly annoying!