Late Friday afternoon conspiracy thread

Where my grass grows the longest, lushest and thickest is always in the shade.

Theory: sun is bullshit?

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Ah, but the sun also dries water from the soil. So in the areas that get shade / indirect light, the areas above ground get enough light to grow well, but also the areas below ground have more water.

Knew you’d have my back, orch.

How are we going to go about extinguishing the sun? It’s probably massively polluting too. A massive ball of fire has to be, right?

Isn’t it nuclear fire too? That sounds dangerous

We just need to give it a good kick in the nuts/fanny. It must have one or the other

Nuclear fire! SHIT!

When looking in rivers or harbours the fish all seem to hang out in the places where fishing is forbidden - conclusion fish not being intelligent is a conspiracy

Particularly them having a two second memory. You need to remember to be in those areas all the time.

Exactly I am glad your on board with this one, there as bold as brass in the no fishing areas eating bread fed to them and stuff but as soon as you go to an area where fishing is permitted they disappear!

And that’s why I never trust a fish

Never turn your back on fish for 1 second or you will know about it - common saying in the SAS actually

Secret Army of Salmon???

Savage Arsed Soles

Severely Asthmatic Sharks