Lawncare: The Thread

Yeah, let’s talk about lawns, baby!

You got a lawn? Is it big? How you mowing that bad boy? Do anything else to it? Reckon grass cutting season is coming to an end soon?


Yeah! I have a lawn and it brings me great joy, thanks for asking!

It’s quite small but bigger since I reclaimed a lot of it from concrete slabs / the edge of a rotten deck, and I’ve returfed those bits. It’s looking great thanks to all the rain.

I mow it whenever I have time between the hours of 9am and 6pm (and as long as it is dry). I have a big pair of angled shears that I use instead of a strimmer for the edges.

Fox keeps weeing on it and burning patches.


Got a lawn. It’s quite big. Big enough to need a petrol mower.

Its a fucking odd shape so though mowing it is a bit convoluted. I’ll draw you a map.

It’s also full of weeds and dog wee burns too.

I recently took the blade off the mower and sharpened it with a file which holding it on a vice on a workbench. Felt quite Daddish.


We have a lawn that grows in quite a healthy way.

Since we moved in we’ve had decking removed and reinstalled which left some bare patches of earth. Wor Lass sourced turf from Gumtree to fill the gaps.

I mow it about 3-4 times a year between spring and autumn. I mowed it last weekend so am hoping I don’t have to bother again before March.

We had a bit of a lawncare mishap this summer when Wor Lass gave The Child some lawn food to distribute and it turned not to be lawn food but some kind of weed killer. Luckily, the only casualty was the lawn which now looks like someone has been burning crop circles into it.

Got a tiny lawn so use a push-me-pull-you mower. Keep a bit of it wild and growing long, which is satisfying.

Lukewarm take: lawns are a form of conspicuous consumption, in a very 19th century way. As if to say “look at me, Rex Banner, I’m mowing my lawn”.

We have quite a small garden and as I type this the grass (more a sort of green swamp after rain) is being ripped up and replaced with some fancy paving and gravel. Cannot wait to see the back of the fucker tbh.

my gardeners take care of it. (literally, its a shared lawn, paid for out of the service charge. Its big. and nice, got some central overlooked bits or some quieter less used bits)

I do have a lawn.
In nearly 5 years I’ve not managed to rid it of the constant dandelions and clover(?).
Also picked up a better lawnmower left out by my neighbour that then screwed and tore up my lawn as the blade was all bent and he knew…you know he knew!

Lawn related: the wife’s dad has a massive garden and has a ride-on mower. Big recommend to having a go on a ride-on mower, great fun.

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Front and back ‘lawn’.
Few discoloured patches cos of the dog peeing on it.
Electric mower. Cut the grass whenever it is nice and sunny and the grass isnt wet ( a rarity in NI).
Depending on the state of the grass I sometimes get a lawnfeed/weed mix to spread on the grass around April time.

Those are both good things that you don’t need to be rid of, though.

Wanna do this so badly.

We were gifted a used flymo like that when we moved in here. Cut actual lumps out of the soil it was so fucked up. The flymo did no flying and fuck all mowing (of grass anyway)

yeah, this was the same thing. Just tearing it up, son of a bitch! Hopefully my new blade off ebay is better than the one actually destroying my precious lawn

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they are aesthetically disgusting to me. I put flowers out for the bees, I want my lawn to look like Lord’s*
*without putting any of the work in to achieve this

I have a lovely petrol lawnmower but alas these days no lawn. I miss my old lawn.

Like being a farmer but easy. He’s left it to grow like a wild meadow now, but with a few little paths mown through it, so although the overall mow time is significantly reduced it’s a bit like being on Mario Kart.


Find the idea long grass is somehow bad on a lawn but great in nature really funny


I ended up getting a new mower in a sale and have had it since so was def worth getting. Better job and safer!

The scourge of my lawn care efforts