Legend of Zelda: Breath of the wild


you know it


The motion control shrines were a piece of piss on the Wii U, but then again I’m someone who uses motion control on Mario Kart because I am a child


Found the only way to get any of these into a neutral starting point was perched on the very edge of the couch, hunched forward over my knees like some sort of wizened old fairytale crone with the switch at an unnatural angle which felt like it was tilted forward although the motion sensor clearly disagreed.

Great times!


If you’re able to do that successfully, I think that makes you a wizard!


Well I move the controller like a steering wheel anyway because apparently I don’t know how thumbs work


Like my son. Do you stick your tongue out too?


Probably, I think we’d get on. Does your son also call all the NPCs dickhead twats?


You know when you’re in Rito Village, right, and there’s that massive bird statue at the top of it and you think to yourself ‘yeah there has to be shit up there’ and you climb and climb, right, somehow make it to the level where you blast that korok balloon and you’re nearly there, then fuck up near the top and fall to your death, wasting a fairy, then you go and cook some stamina food before trying again, right, but you climb up the wrong side and it’s too steep, and despite the stamina food you fall off and die, and then recook the food, do it all again, climb up the right side, and you finally get there, right, and wander around and there’s f*ck all and you’re like ‘fu birdperson’ you know, so you decide alright might as well kill the divine beast then the fucker uses the bastard you climbed as a perch?

Yeah hate that, me.


I’m hoping he doesn’t know those words, although he proudly spelled out shit to me the other day (he’s only five), kindly taught to him by the year 6s at breakfast club.


I think my frustration with the shrines is the wildly different difficulties, the random elemental effects, and the disconnect from the rest of the world. Maybe it’s just the Zelda trope I’m not familiar with, but I see literally no benefit to them (maybe apart from the fast travel points, if you are using them) but the orbs are useless when I can make a meal with +10 temporary hearts and use Stamella mushrooms and stuff. seems like a bit of a flawed mechanic. and the weapons are useless as they break as often as the others, assuming that they don’t get insanely better than the few I’ve got int he shrines I’ve done.

the motion control ones are a different kettle of fish.

it’s the fact that there are so many things no taught to you, that maybe I should be paying attention to? like there was one with a gate. It has an arrow thing like that one with the arrows and the flames (that I cheated on my using fire arrows). I hit the arrow switch, it moved up and then I was stuck for a very long time, confused as to what was supposed to happen next. never in a million years would I have thought that hitting it with an arrow in one direction would make it switch backwards in the opposite direction.

there was one with some conveyor belts too, and a ball, and that was too easy. I just walked through it and it was fine. felt like I’d missed the challenge in that one. it’s so wildly inconsistent, when the game world’s VERY consistent.

I don’t know. I really liked the Eldin Mountan beast, but disliked the Zora one as it was very confusing (I missed that you needed the map of the beast, so spent about an hour trying to solve it without it, not realising it wasn’t a “map” but actually the fucking whole point of the beast).

but see outside of the shrines, it’s the greatest game I’ve ever played. all the quests are neat and the world is endlessly brilliant. getting to Gerudo last night ranks highly as one of the best gaming experiences of my life - was thrilling to come across the Hinox on the suspension bridge.



Or climb all the way to the top of Hyrule Castle and all you get is a fucking korok (don’t know what I was expecting really)


The epitome of high effort/little reward. My flatmate is way ahead of me in the game so I’ve decided that I’ll postpone the main quest to collect all the koroks before he does. I don’t think he even cares but goddamn it I’m doing it.


I got the mask and have about 320 of them I think but haven’t played for about a fortnight.


Stay away for your own health


No one told me that getting on 70 hours into this game it’d turn into an obtuse Splinter Cell cunt fest. Fucks sake.

I absolutely HATE stealth games. With every fibre of my being. I spent £50 on a Splinter Cell game and literally couldn’t get past the first 5 minutes. What in the hell were they thinking with the Yiga Clan bit? No saves? No Mipha? No ability to fight your way out? Guys with one kills?

Man, the past three hours of the game have seriously soured it for me. Its almost sapped all my energy for it. Between the terrible experiences with the shrines to this stelath bit, I might just go back to Hateno village and say “Ganton can fucking come for me, it’s not worth it”.

And I’m so disappointed.


I liked that bit as I like stealth but it is a really weirdly jarring lurch for the game, very immersion breaking.


I remember doing something similar in Ocarina of Time with guards in the castle grounds, if memory serves. I don’t mind it for a bit of variety.


It’s the fact that, out of no where, you’re only “allowed” to complete it one way. In a very contrived way. It feels like a totally different game.


That bit was fine. I spent fucking ages on the bit where you follow the Korok in the fucking woods though. That was properly shite insta-fail stealth


Yeah exactly, I would have stealthed it out of choice personally but for a game who’s main selling point is “you can literally approach this game however the fuck you want” to force your hand like that is a bizarre choice.