Let's stay friends


#1

Have you ever stayed friends with any of your exes? And not just a ‘say hello to them at a party and be cordial’, but actually friends and arrange to meet up with them and spend time with them as you would any other friend?

I went to a wedding earlier this year, in which one of the best men was an old long-term boyfriend of one of the husbands.


#2

Briefly, then I got back together with a different ex and made it all a bit weird. Well done, me.


#3

Not as such as I live in different countries to both of my (serious) exes- one I’m friendly with on facebook and such, and the other I speak to most days on whatsapp and sometimes we Skype.

Conclusion: I am a GREAT guy.


#4

Doing it rn I guess, not with anyone else though


#5

I talk to one of my exes about once a month via facebook chat, but we’ve only met up a handful of times since we broke up. Was supposed to be meeting up last week but turned out she’d booked a month long yoga retreat at the last minute and was doing that instead.


#6

All depends don’t it. I’ve got 2 exes. One I haven’t spoken a word to since I was finally able to get rid of her post breakup. She’s sent me the odd facebook message in the years since but I’ve ignored every one. The other I was still tight as fuck with for years and years after but our lives have gone in different directions so barely talk to her now. No enmity there or anything, just I guess the reasons we were suited to being in a relationship have also embedded themselves in the friendship space as well or something. I dunno, if she was back in the country and text me tomorrow I’d go for a drink with her no problem but can’t imagine either of us would enjoy it. And that awkwardness that you used to be proper close is palpable ain’t it. I dunno, life eh.


#7

Oldest excuse in the book, this.


#8

Yeah, still friends with the last one.


#9

:smiley: wasn’t even me who suggested meeting up. laughed at the time at her trying to rustle up an excuse not to meet up, and ending up with that.


#10

some of them didn’t take the break up well and even when it’s seemed like we could be friends again (we still have mutual friends) they’ve managed to say or do something weird or aggressive and kinda ruined it. I regret being so accommodating to some people.


#11

always found that weird. even if you’re not happy about a relationship ending, there’s literally no point to venting that to the other party.


#12

yeah it’s particularly bad when it ends up ruining other friendships and making the other person feel quite isolated and like they’ve lost friends of several years.


#13

I had a similar thing happen to me with someone I didn’t go out for that long with (6 months I think), who basically ended up turning a whole group of people against me because I broke up with her which was apparently the wrong thing to do ‘because she’d had loads of guys mess her about in the past’.

don’t miss any of them tbf which is kind of lucky.


#14

No, not really. One I stayed pretty friendly with, but in hindsight we were both just keeping the idea of getting back together alive and it wasn’t very healthy. In recent years when we’ve both been with other people, we’ve basically stopped talking outside of wishing happy birthday on Facebook or seeing each other with a wider group of friends if we’re both back in our hometown for Christmas.


#15

nope, not any serious relationship ones anyway


#16

one of my exes went around telling everyone I’d basically cheated on him when I hadn’t, throw a glass at me, made me pay him loads of money that I didn’t owe him and I could totally do with right now :frowning:


#17

oooft that’s rough.

could you burgle his house or something?


#18

advice to everyone: don’t ever feel guilty about breaking up with someone if it’s what you want to do. if the other person really cares about you they won’t play on your sense of guilt and be abusive.


#19

he’s since apologised and he probably doesn’t have much money cause he’s a ‘writer’

(do keep a close watch waiting to see when he gets his first book deal and will ask for the money back then)


#20

having worked in publishing for the past 4 years, I wouldn’t count on him having any sort of money even if he does get published.

best to burgle the place.