let's talk massages

  • love em, have them often
  • semi regularly
  • occasionally, but don’t go much/too pricey
  • never been but would like to
  • nope, dont want strangers touching me

0 voters

talk about the best ones you’ve had, favourite types, recommendations, issues, whatever!

went for my first as a birthday present about 5 years ago, was solid but nothing special and didn’t encourage me to go back

just went for a more traditional Thai style one last week though and damn that was good! Definitely made me reconsider and now think it’s something I’ll happily put the money aside for on a monthly basis

My taekwondo instructor and his wife used to get a professional massage at least once a week. I didn’t know how to react when he gave me this information, still don’t.

Only go for sports ones where they’re basically half an hour of necessary agony.

Don’t think I’d enjoy a normal one. Want to avoid strangers touching me wherever possible really

I don’t like being touched by strangers so it’s a no from me Clive.

Think I’ve had 3 in my life:

1st: I was really ticklish. Not enjoyable.
2nd: better. Awkwardly got a semi when they massaged my thighs.
3rd: grim. Too firm and my boss was in the room.

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Only had a couple, but found them incredibly relaxing - kept falling asleep. Think maybe they should have been a little firmer.


Had a Thai massage with my ex. The lass who was doing up stood on my back at one point. That was weird.

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Need a “Hate them, have them rarely” option

1st: medium strength Swedish. Probably my fault for asking for a lighter one, but was just very mellow and relaxing without feeling like it had an impact

2nd: Thai style with hot oil and some combination stretching (?). Goddamn I felt that all over - there were elbows and knees pressing hard into my muscles, basically crawled on my back, basically laughed at how inflexible and tight I was. Felt so much looser after, very relaxed, fully converted to that style now

might risk a deep tissue one sometime but that seems like one step too far over the enjoyable/painful line

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First time I ever had one (we have an office masseuse once a week) I went in for shin splints and a knee issue and immediately she went for my arse. Worst case scenario in my mind.


my friend used to lift me off my feet and let me dangle in his arms


Love em. Love giving em. Love getting them at the same time as other people. All of it.


I think if I was rich I would be massaged every day


daily massages and cooking everything in chorizo oil would be my two instant rich-guy lifestyle changes


Really like them. Don’t get them very often. Just if I’m at a spa or in a nice hotel place where they offer them

A bit out of my price range generally, but a good deep tissue massage can work wonders. Definitely favour the ‘fuck me up fam’ style of massage where it’s borderline painful at times and you feel like you’ve been beaten up the next day, because those are the ones where you can really feel the difference in your body.

Love them, not had one for years. Might get one in ten years time if things are back to normal.

Only really done physio, which is not quite the same.
Also the last physio just kind of listed all the broken bits of my body while doing physio on the other bits. Was quite amazing how he could spot all the fucked up parts of my body. Like “oh, your bowel seems distended” or something idk and was talking about dairy free diets etc, and then afterwards I immediately went and got one of those ridiculous iced milk syrup coffee things. You can’t fix stupid I guess.

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Had a few. They’re ok. Like a good scalp massage though, could go for one of those daily.

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Love them but don’t deal that well with the more painful ones. When I was in brno I’d go most weeks because it was so cheap. No such luck around these parts.

I like to give a sensual massage from time to time too, and if any of you want one it’s £45.