Let's write terrible stand-up based on quite niche indie music jokes together

Cor, tell you what right? I didn’t half have a weird tasting ice cream the other day. You know, when you expect something to taste a certain way and it doesn’t? Anyway I looked at the ingredients and it said it contained Neutral Milk. Neutral Milk? That’s odd, I thought, then looked at the wrapper again and realised I’d misread the packet and bought a Mangum

:rofl: :rofl:


Cor, tell you what right? It must half get annoying living with that Justin Vernon from Bon Iver. You know the fella, with the beard and the autotune? Anyway, just imagine it, you’re living with him and running late for work and you say “Hey Justin, what’s the time?” And he says “twenty to a million”. It’d be annoying, wouldn’t it, hey?


We Live And Die In These Towns by The Enemy

Cor, tell you what right? The other day I saw Tom Clarke reading the NME, and I thought, that’s funny ain’t it? Tom Clarke from The Enemy reading The NME?

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Cor, tell you what right? My missus, she’s well into that Julian Casablancas, whereas I am more of a Nick Valensi man. You know what they say though, different Strokes for different folks


Ok going to bed now

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audience claps and whoops wildly


1: I say I say I say, I’ve just spent the last half hour with a Sheffield based outfit admiring the attire of Michael Caine’s character in the film Zulu.

2: Bromhead’s jacket?

1: No, it was with Little Man Tate that the admiration ensued!

2: Ribald!

ian mackaye only eats small desserts, he’s a fan of a minor treat


What did Sebastian Bach say when a friend of his asked him to recommend a book on the history of sexuality to purchase?

“Get the Foucault”


Just saw Nick Zammato play to a sold out audience. That’s a turn up for The Books


someone told us karen o formed a band and we all just replied with yeah yeah yeahs



Still great.

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Cor tell you what, I’ve had a horrible past couple of days! First I got a nasty cold but then after that Robert Smith pushed me down a flight of stairs!

the Cure was worse than the disease!


Cor tell you what, right? This all reminds me of a time I was driving up the M6 towards Manchester and saw Shaun Ryder trying to change his tyre in the pissing rain. It was the day after Sunday if I recall it correctly. He wasnt having a very Happy Monday!


Marc Almond’s started selling his demos online, he rarely answers any questions though, more of a soft s©ell

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Hard fi’s 3rd single from their first album went top 10 despite them only being on a small independent label

That’s hard to beat


Do you remember in around 2006? Yeah, do you remember? All bands had to start with a K didn’t they? In, yeah, 2006, all bands started with a K. Killers, Kasabian. Keane, I mean, I could go on.

Also, remember being absolutely desperate for that new My Bloody Valentine album? Remember that? Anyone listened to it? No, me neither [round of applause]

Kaiser Chiefs? They were another one.

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