Lies your parents (or other adults) told you when you were a kid that you believed


#1

Inspired by my gf believing her Dad wrote Return of the Mack for ages.

My mate Ricky’s Dad told me that a Haggis was a type of goat with short legs at the front and long legs at the back so it could run round the top of mountains, I believed this for a long time.


#2

My parents told me when you lied a tree started growing out of your head and the only way to stop it was to put your hand on your head everytime you lied


#3

That they would never split up


#4

Domestos can scar you for life, so for the love of god don’t go into the toilet now that i’ve just cleaned it.

To this day i’m still terrified of domestos


#5

Also had a friend whose birthday is the 5th of November, and until she was 8 her parents had convinced her that everyone was just letting off fireworks for her birthday, which is pretty adorable


#6

TIL


#7

If you put your cold hands on the radiator just once, you’ll get rheumatism


#8

If you keep snapping your fingers you’ll get arthritis. Still don’t know if this is true or not! Just bubbles in the synovial fluid right?


#9

My dad used to say to me ‘you’re my favourite daughter’ and I’d be like ‘but i’m your only daughter’ and he’d go 'no i have 5 others. Geri, Victoria, Mel B, Mel C and Emma’
trying to convince me that my half sisters were the spice girls

which looking back is actually quite a weird thing to say


#10

Reckon your Dad is going to make this thread an absolute classic


#11

Taking ibuprofen will make your stomach bleed

I still don’t take ibuprofen


#12

(something along these lines)

“This channel is called Turner Classic Movies”
“Yes, it is.”
“That’s like nan’s name!”
“That’s right. She owns the channel.”
“Wow!”


#13

tbf that can happen eventually


#14

yeah my mum is super paranoid about stuff like that


#15

Reheating ANY food will give you food poisoning. Everything must be discarded immediately after eating.


#16

You really shouldn’t take too much ibuprofen, especially on an empty stomach, it will fuck you up.


#17

Fixed this for you.


#18

Yeah, I know that. That’s not the lie I was told.
I was told if I specifically take ibuprofen, my stomach will bleed almost instantly so I am not allowed to take it.


#19

Frank who lived over the back told me that the painted pole on the top of his shed was a beacon that he received signals on from alien spacecraft.

He had a printing press in his shed which he ran a small side business, his shed had a lovely printing ink smell.

Frank was the best.


#20

‘Don’t pull your skin back too far - the end of your willy will drop out’