If you think you’re going to trump in public, simply pretend to collapse and die. It’s a well known fact that cadavers omit trapped gas so people will assume it’s just a natural process. Once the police/paramedics arrive, simply explain to them that you were trying to cover up an embarrasing thing. They’ll understand and hopefully it will give them a bit of a laugh during a long hard days work for them
You’re going to have to do a lot more than collapse and die to get a cop or a paramedic out to you these days.
Whoever shuffled off supplied the guff
more of a “death hack”, this…