When I was at uni in Liverpool in 2006 a lad in one of my classes invited me round to his one day after uni. Got the bus to Wavertree I think. His mum made us corned beef hash and I said “that was lovely that thanks” and they both sorta laughed nervously like they didn’t know how to respond to someone complimenting the tea and I felt like I’d said something embarrassing. We then went up to his bedroom and he was showing me his guitar and played the intro to Half The World Away.
His younger brother came home and they were bickering and then they suggested that the three of us walk to a snooker club kinda place up the road to play pool. For some reason I got cold feet and couldn’t stop worrying about the fact that it was dark and I had uni in the morning and I didn’t really know where I was, so basically declined the invite to go to the pool place and said I’ll be going home (back to my student flat). They were clearly a bit like ‘wtf’?. Felt like a dick.
He didn’t really talk to me after that. Couple of days later we had a lecture and I wasn’t sure where it was so texted him to ask if he knew and he said “Dunno mate”.
Did a Foundation Art course for a year in Leicester. Made a mate called Tom who lived local. He invited me round for tea and his mum popped her head in and asked if I liked “Toad in the hole”, I said I had no idea what it was and there was a massive pause. She made it anyway and at dinner, his dad sat down with “you the lad who doesn’t know toad in the hole?” And I got dead embarrassed. Think that was the beginning of the end for me and Tom.
There was a boy in my class who liked discos so when there was a disco at the local YMCA I invited him, my parents dropped us off but as I went in I found it too scary so ran back to them and said I wanted to go, so we dropped him back at his house and went home.
Used to go to a childminder from when I was about 2 until about 8 then she packed it in so I started going to a new one. The old one was basically like family. Didn’t like the new one at all.
One day she picked me up from school and took me to her friend’s house (bit weird) and told me to go upstairs and play in the friend’s son’s bedroom (the friend’s son wasn’t there).
I was bursting for a piss and had never been in that house before. I went out into this long hallway and tried four or five doors that were all bedrooms or cupboards before opening the last one. It was the bathroom but there was a hairy grown man in the bath (assuming he was the childminder’s friend’s husband).
I was a bit shocked for a moment and that made me want to piss more so I ran back to the bedroom, got down on the floor, pulled my tadger out and urinated under the bed.
