Living with your parents as an Adult

Feel like the cost of living crisis will lead to a lot more of this won’t it?

I live alone and honestly do not think I’d survive past a month living with my auld Ma bless her, or she’d probably try and cave my head in with some sort of china cat or something.

Is it something you’d consider? Is it something you do? Is it alright?

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feel like if i want to put away some money for a deposit or something it’d be the only way, completely impossible to do from london. should probably have done it over the pandemic like a lot of sensible people did.

then again, we’d probably kill eachother after a week or less so isn’t even feasible.

Was chatting to the Columbian guy I play D&D with and he thought it was absolutely weird as fuck the way ‘we’ (ie US/UK/Aus/NZ hegemony etc) seem desperate to leave home or be encouraged to do so as soon as possible.

We moved in with my mum and dad when we left Bath a few years go (had our own kitchen and living space which helped) but don’t think I could have done it for any more than the 6 months we were there. Was just starting to get too much for everyone involved when we moved out.

I did this for most of my 20s, it’s fine, a bit less freedom than when i don’t live with my mum (who worries if im out late etc) but my family home is in london and there was no way i was going to pay someone’s mortgage renting in london when i can live at home

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Also culturally people stay home with their parents until they marry, its very normal for many cultures

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In Italy you basically get your own condo attachment I think, that could work.

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was very lucky that my parents live a commutable distance to London so just stayed with them till I had saved a deposit. Absolutely no chance I’d have been able to do it if I was renting.

Probably stunted my independence quite a bit and I imagine I could have had more fun, but was very content the whole time. I really like my parents.

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I’ve done it on and off. It was fine. The biggest issue was the attitude of others, largely ignorant of their own privilege and the fear of being seen as some sort of failure, etc.

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its also not the thing in Spain either. You basically live with your parents until you move in with a partner, or you´re one of the few lucky ones that have a job that takes you places. Good for me because it results in a reasonable (where I live anyway) renters market, but still.

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Did it for a couple of years after uni. Ended up staying with them for the first 4 months of last year as well in lockdown. It’s quite nice in some ways, the only problem is that my parents live in the middle of nowhere. Beautiful countryside but massively inconvenient.

If my parents lived in a city there’s a good chance I would have sacked off house sharing and moved back in long ago.

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I do think tying financial/living space independence to monogamy and the traditional family unit is just as bad btw, cultures that promote that have their own trappings.

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I quit my job in my 30’s and went travelling for 18 months. It is one of the best choices of my life but when I came home I had to live back with my parents for nearly a year until I got another job.

Turns out it was also one of the best things I ever did. I never got on with my dad growing up, and I was never that close to the rest of my family either. When I got the chance to get out, I ran and didn’t look back. Very rarely coming home for visits.

Coming home gave me the chance to build a relationship with my family that I never would have done otherwise.

Not that’s not to say it wasn’t hard, it took a month for myself and my dad to cop on and stop acting like I was 16 but it was worth it. If I could move hope for a year or 2 to save up for a deposit I would.

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I mean it’s something I could have done and did do after uni, but the big issue was in 2000 everyone would judge you poorly for the choice.

Feel like bow it’s going to be seen much less negatively, at least I hope so.

Yeah it’s standard for extended family groups to live in different apartments in the same building. If people move away for work or whatever the apartments will just remain empty. Normally the palazzo (apartment building) will have been built by the family generations previously.

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Done it, found it a constant battle to be seen by my parents as an adult, while realising that they still behave like children themselves.

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Often think it would be fine to go and live back with my mum, but then I visit and want to throw myself out the window after about an hour.
Wife threatens that her mum will come and live with us if on her own, which would probably be ok, but the two of them together are like Julie Andrews in the sound of music and I would be dead within a year from the high blood pressure and teeth grinding holding the facade of super friendly son in law.

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I’m semi-considering it, tbh. :frowning:

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Parents live in a small underprivileged city so was never really on the table for work reasons. Think having never moved back in after uni was good for me though, made me more resilient and independent than I would have otherwise been. I think I am the kind of person who would just take to my bed and never get up if I didn’t physically have to in order to keep a roof over my head.

House deposit was pretty hard/impossible to save for though.