Speaks for itself.
0 voters
Personally, I once went just before kick-off and returned midway through half time. My ex wife still brings it up.
Chat encouraged – lets go through the motions.
When I had to pick the stool out of my arse as told on here many years ago.
Missed it. Link me.
I’ve finished eating.
Can only find a brief retelling:
Probably when I’ve had bum wee so bad that getting up didn’t really seem worth it.
Reading is what keeps me glued to the bog. I’ve had to stop though because it’s a one way ticket to haemorrhoid town!
genuine food poisoning - shitting and vomiting (leaning over to the sink) constantly for hours until I felt like I’d transcended to a lower plane
I had the noro virus once for 48 hours but managed to leave the bathroom fairly frequently. Even if I stayed there longer than an hour, I’m really tales of being sat on the toilet.
^ this
hello tales-of-being-sat-on-the-toilet. Can I just call you ‘tales’?
If he is Tails then I am Knuckles (deep in my anus).
Broke my leg and was in traction in hospital for a week. Didn’t fancy using a bedpan, so just didn’t shit until I could use a commode. Probably took about an hour and a half in total.
Better than watching them when their matches are on Sky I suppose
think Ive fallen asleep on the bog before… so about 3 hours… 
Never really needed to spend more than 10 mins on the loo tbf. Never had fully blown epimers. Is that ok MrS?
I don’t know, rich. Feels like you’re missing out.
I feel like I am too.
You also starting to wonder if he’s deliberately engineering situations where he gets to handle poo?
When are you looking to have me weekend at your new gaff?