Longest you've spent on the toilet in one go

Speaks for itself.

  • Under 10 minutes (explain)
  • 10-15 minutes
  • 15-20 minutes
  • 20-30 minutes
  • 30-45 minutes
  • 45-60 minutes
  • Over an hour (explain)

0 voters

Personally, I once went just before kick-off and returned midway through half time. My ex wife still brings it up.

Chat encouraged – lets go through the motions.

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When I had to pick the stool out of my arse as told on here many years ago.

Missed it. Link me.

I’ve finished eating.

Can only find a brief retelling:



Probably when I’ve had bum wee so bad that getting up didn’t really seem worth it.

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Reading is what keeps me glued to the bog. I’ve had to stop though because it’s a one way ticket to haemorrhoid town!

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genuine food poisoning - shitting and vomiting (leaning over to the sink) constantly for hours until I felt like I’d transcended to a lower plane

I had the noro virus once for 48 hours but managed to leave the bathroom fairly frequently. Even if I stayed there longer than an hour, I’m really tales of being sat on the toilet.

^ this

hello tales-of-being-sat-on-the-toilet. Can I just call you ‘tales’?

If he is Tails then I am Knuckles (deep in my anus).


Broke my leg and was in traction in hospital for a week. Didn’t fancy using a bedpan, so just didn’t shit until I could use a commode. Probably took about an hour and a half in total.

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Better than watching them when their matches are on Sky I suppose

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think Ive fallen asleep on the bog before… so about 3 hours… :man_shrugging:

@rich-t to the explanation station, please.

Never really needed to spend more than 10 mins on the loo tbf. Never had fully blown epimers. Is that ok MrS?

I don’t know, rich. Feels like you’re missing out.

I feel like I am too.

You also starting to wonder if he’s deliberately engineering situations where he gets to handle poo?

When are you looking to have me weekend at your new gaff?