Look, I've got football to watch in 15 mins or so but use this thread to come up with some new types of clothes if you want

Me personally?

What’s Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O’Malley Armstrong, but a second-hand emotion?


Anyone interested in the nose socks, sell them as a set.

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I predict these will sell very well. Just call me Nostrildamus.


Ankle garter belts to hold up trainer socks

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A neck tie but it points up not down. Thus drawing attention away from the penis and towards the penis of the face (nose).

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trousers for the arms



Business loungewear


Wetsuit tuxedos


Gloveless finger-tubes, for when you have sweaty palms but frozen fingertips.

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Just woke up from a fucking nightmare didn’t i

I think so.

Would you be interested in some kind of dungarees for the lower leg? A substantial short that clips into something that covers the calf?

A kind of fisherman’s trousher that exposes the knee.

Sports formal

A large cone like thin rubber collar, of diameter greater than your shoulder width, somewhere between a dog’s Cone of Shame and one of those frilled-neck dinosaurs that kills Newman from Seinfeld in Jurassic Park. (SPOILERS!)

You can see over the top easily.

The idea is that you wear it when it’s raining and it allows your head to get wet which is a nice experience but then it catches all the other rain that would make you wet and instead funnels it down a small rubber tube that runs down your back to the pavement behind you.



Theo, you magnificent bastard, you’ve done it again my friend!

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