Lying: The Poll Thread

aw you got close! That must have been heartbreaking

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We should have picked American TV. Was my fault :disappointed:

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Ah sorry, don’t feel bad, you did well!

Appalling for us a couple of seasons ago.

Wasn’t even the best player on his 7 a side team, not surprised that he was a bit rubbish as a pro.

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tbf, He probably did spend quite a lot of time in toilet cubicles around about then…

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remember watching this at the time.

were Richard and Alexander nice?

would love to be able to say I’ve given a Pointless answer, I’m very jealous.

Shall I reveal?

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Richard was charming and made us feel very relaxed. Alexander was quite aloof and seemed to just want to get it over with which when you’re filming 4 episodes a day is fair enough.

We asked if we could get a photo with them at the end. They said no.


they don’t let the final contestants have a photo with them? Pricks



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I HAVE played a gig supporting a member of Boyzone, when Shane Lynch tried to reinvent himself as a rap metal superstar to rival Fred Durst.

I AM banned from Butlins for life, but the liklihood of them enforcing it is slim as I gave a fake name and have moved since then. I was caught with a pal smoking a very weak joint at Rockaway Beach 2016. Luckily a friend had a spare room in his chalet and wristband so I could continue my weekend.

I DO NOT have a lewd tattoo. Sorry everyone. Would probably get one though.


:star: I have never written a musical about myself :star: (only musicals about other people where I crop up as a minor character). However I did write one about a guy called Dave and it featured songs about contraception and his love for me. It was messed up af.

Threatening boy at church - he was always horrible to me and wouldn’t leave me alone so I got a sharp letter opener that looked like a knife and waved it at him when he was being a dickhead again. He cried and ran away and told my mum’s friend who hates me, she told my mum and yeah I basically got in a shitload of trouble for it.

Houses of Parliament - my friend was working for an MP on her gap year so I visited her in Parliament during the summer holidays. we got mashed in the Sport & Social Bar and she said that at her Christmas party all the interns got drunk and went on the roof, then asked if I wanted to do that. OBVIOUSLY I did. So we did. On the way out we got lost and thought we were stuck in the boiler room, luckily we found a way out which came out right in the circular bit between the Lords and the Commons. Security guards looked highly suspicious but we got away with it :sunglasses:


Well, the votes are more evenly spread than I expected but I can reveal that Option A is a…

I have never lived next door to the purple sex fiend’s brethren, but my mum’s cousin has. Said relative moved over here years ago and now resides in the West of Scotland. To our knowledge, Prince never visited Oban.

Myself and a bunch of friends did manage to dupe the rather gullible secretary at our local sports centre over a series of phone calls into thinking that we were the BBC looking to make arrangements to hire the venue for SPOTY due to strike action by engineers at Television Centre. Some BBC headed paper was acquired from a friend’s older sister who worked at BBC Scotland at the time and a series of faxes were issued to them, detailing the sporting celebrities we’d be bringing with us and arrangements for catering etc. The club secretary even 1471ed the school payphone we were using, but thanks to one friend pelting it back down the corridor to answer pretending to be a BBC runner, we were able to string this out for a couple more days.

We made an attempt to put a stop to it after a few days when I called up pretending to be Des Lynam (I can do a fairly passable impression of the suave old fox) but this impressed him further and we ended up eventually speaking to the general manager, who quickly cottoned on that this was clearly a bunch of teenage gits with too much time on their hands, but gamely played along for a couple of more days before stopping returning our calls. Sadly, this meant that neither Liz McColgan nor Ronaldinho ever graced the hallowed halls of Craigswood Sports Centre.

And finally, myself and a friend were quietly dropped from the summer schedules of Edinburgh Uni’s radio station after going rogue and playing Shakin’ Stevens, Queen and Chas & Dave as an antidote to the awful hipster stuff the other shows were playing (egged on by our brilliant producer - she was leaving and couldn’t give a stuff). Clearly Fresh Fringe weren’t ready for Rabbit. We hosted our final show the following week and I still regret not closing with Ain’t No Pleasin’ You.


I have never called Tim Wheeler ‘Tiny Tiny Tim Wheeler’, that was my friend Keith who did that.

I was on a morning TV segment where Timmy Mallet came to our water-ski centre I went to as a child and we were filmed giving him hints and tips.

I was drunkenly walking though Liverpool once and stumbled across a girls aloud after party and bumped into Nicola Rogers and got excited and accidentally shouted at her and she ran away.


I can reveal that I never shared a cab with David Mitchell. Never met him at all in fact. Never even seen him.

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How was Sir Ian’s party?

I couldn’t go! Even though he was quite insistent, the flirt.


Classic Keith