Machine Grievance

My coffee machine cleans itself and then turns off at pretty much the exact point I fancy a second coffee. I then have to turn it on where it then cleans itself again. Give me another 15 minutes you mother fucker!

Old blue last
£5/£4 unwaged


Which machine is this please Lonzy?

Rage against it!

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Mine does the same, but I think you can take it out of “ECO” mode and it just stays on forever?

Delonghi ESAM 2800 Cafe Corso

I think you can get better than it for not much more but it has been a good friend (other than the auto clean time cycle abomination) for two or three years.

I will never be without a bean to cup machine in my life again barring a Mad Max/Waterworld apocalyptic scenario.

I’ve got the Caffe Venezia ESAM 2200.

We should swap notes.

Oh my. This is a revelation.

Over a decade of communication with you has finally come good.


She’s a beaut mate

Look at this though!


(BTW I think I might buy 2 coffees a year out and about so it is YOU that is the tory (not ant but YOU)).


(That’s the one I’ve got, pal)

Yowsers, I can get one of these bad boys on ebay for £169 refurbished:

Given the price this sounds like a manageable level of Machine Grievance. Are you doing stealth marketing for Delonghi?

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microwave beeps when the food is ready (fine)

but then keeps beeping like fuck every minute unless i open the door. i heard you the first time you prick, I’m doing something right now give me a chance!!

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Dishwashers are a bit fucking needy, aren’t they?

Waaa! I need more salt!!!

PLLLEEEEEASE can I have some rinse aid?

Oh, I’m still drying! Sorry I’m so slow! I’m trying my best ok!!!

fuck off

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That’s sweet - mines a little more basic.

How much

Nobody even knows what the salt is for. Nobody.

love a perfectly seasoned sieve


What a fucking baller!

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after the dishwasher defeats its enemies (dirty plates) it salts their fields just to get it up them

vindictive bastards, dishwashers

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