Making a big entrance

Inspired by this

Woman’s Hour on Radio 4 are currently asking their listeners to tell what songs their kids were born to. Unusually for WH it’s not excruciating. I think my favourite so far was this

Anyway what would be a good and funny song to be born to?

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*Sandman Figueiro

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My friend put Circle of Life on in the car on our drive to the hospital which she thought was hilarious but then she put Rock DJ on straight after and i was furious as i was so close to giving birth that i was sure it would happen in the car and that would be the soundtrack. I was in too much pain to tell her to switch it off…so just screamed internally. Tortuous.

Anyway she was born to the sound of me getting high on gas and air and asking if I was in a nightclub. Then when i recovered my wits and we were alone I played Birthday by Sugacubes to her.

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I think Neighbours was on when I was born.

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Really incredible when you thin about it that this is the footage of me being born

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My mum often tells me that she took all the pain relief the hospital would give her during my birth, so she was kinda out of it. When I was like halfway out and they were all screaming at her to push she got distracted by hearing the Inspector Morse theme tune playing distantly and was like “oh sweet, Morse is on, I love a bit of Morse”

And to this day I too love a bit of Morse

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For Offspring I, the TV had requested Boards Of Canada’s ‘Music Has The Right To Children’ be played. However, she was so lazy in pushing/actually getting on with the birth that by the time baby emerged the album had run out and my MP3 player had moved onto this:

For Offspring II, it was a C-section so surgeon’s choice of Absolute 80s playing in the background. Quite pleasingly, this was playing when he was first hacked out…

The stories are great, but remember suggestions are welcomed too!

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Perhaps a little too literal.

I used to teach in a run-down shithole of a school in China. The place was falling to bits but the kids were great.

Had a class of 8 year olds I taught on a Thursday evening. One of them, Jack, was a bit of a troublemaker but was quite funny and has amazing confidence for his age.

Anyway this class begins and Jack is late. I start teaching and after 5 minutes I see Jack walking up to the classroom door through an internal window. He’s holding his school bag in one hand and an ice cream in the other.

Suddenly there’s an almighty crash and everyone turns around in shock. The door is no longer on its hinges and is instead laying flat on the floor in the classroom (thankfully no one was in its way). In the doorway is a shocked looking Jack who apparently didn’t have a free arm to open the door and had decided to kick the door open. He paused for a moment looking surprised before striding into the classroom and taking his seat and then going back to licking his ice cream.

I couldn’t even be mad at him. What an absolute champ. Wanted an ice cream, showed up late, kicked a door in, ate his ice cream.

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This is a spectacular post.

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My sister emerged to “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to”, which was good timing.

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Well I guess that’s leaving it right to the last minute.