Manches Thread Trilogy, Episode 1: Have you ever been menaced by a phantom?

Perhaps you’re enjoying a lovely day of culture down at the old opera house, when suddenly you notice repeated little bumps on the back of your head. You turn around and there’s that old half-masked sack of FUCK himself with a homemade pea-shooter. Buddy, lemme tells ya - you’ve just been MENACED by a PHANTOM!

Perhaps you’re a voracious anti-communist constantly irked by that pesky spectre haunting Europe. There you are hunched scroogily over a copy of the Financial Times trying to maximise your investment returns when suddenly you notice repeated little bumps on the back of your head. You turn around and - GAD-SHITTING-ZOOKS if it isn’t a physical manifestation of the legacy of the Soviet Union itself with a homemade pea-shooter. You want to keep it on the low-down so as not to shake the confidence of your shareholders, but there’s no denying it - you’ve just been MENACED by a PHANTOM!

So yeah, this is the first of my International Start A Thread Day trilogy of threads. I wanna get to 100 threads started in my stats, so hopefully this relatable topic gets us all jibber-jabbering about all those phantoms that menace us in our daily lives.

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Genuinely, my sister had a poltergeist when we were teens. You’d put something down in her room, turn your back and it would be moved. THAT’S a menacing from a PHANTOM!

There’s a story my dad tells that my foolish brain always thinks about when I’m alone in the house. He was working a late shift, so got in late and we were all asleep (this would’ve been when I was very little so it might not have been that late). Switches on the telly and there’s someone talking about how he’s the messiah or something (sort of David Icke-like, but I don’t think it was David Icke).

My dad says “what an idiot”, or something just to himself; and then hears something fall down out of the bookcase. Goes over and it’s a copy of the Bible

Menacing phantom, indeed!

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