Mark Wahlberg's mornings


in fife this would translate to “it is known”


Budget version -


alright but you have to promise to let me out after half an hour okay?


There’s only so much wanking you can do in one go surely


Dude can’t read either.


Haha it’s funny because he didn’t know all of the names


Fair play to him.

Very serious chap isn’t he ol’ Wahlberg. Not sure I’ve ever seen him laugh or even smile fully.


Dunno why he doesn’t just got to bed at 11 and get up at 6, move everything forward a few hours


Can’t stand his family


SafeBruvs mornings

Wake up at 4am
Pray that it’s not time to get up
Go back to sleep
Alarm at 7
Hit snooze
alarm at 7.09
Does safebruv need the toilet
Yes hits snooze
alarm at 7.18
Dive out of bed as not to piss it
Sit down wee turns into a poo
start reading twitter
feet go numb so struggle to get off the toilet
can i really be bothered having a shower
you’re 38 mate wash yourself ffs
Put on pants and socks
Pour out coffee and make some toast
Read instagram and reddit until toast and coffee is cold and i’m running late
Put on rest of my clothes
Drive to work
Am i hungry?
Yeah get yourself a bacon butty
Get to work late
Laugh at the person that says afternoon safebruv
turn on laptop
go make a coffee
read emails
go and make another coffee
Soon be lunch


Where does he fit in the racially aggravated attempted murders? Is that family time?


no, he just can’t read.


After lunch

Oh Mark Walberg? i don’t know


Donnie is now married to Jenny McCarthy, the lucky son of a biscuit-eater!


I can’t really get a handle on this as you’ve only included 4 times.


Drive to work is at 8.40

That helps


When do you fit in your hour and a half shower then?


It’s more like a minute and a half.

Just to be clear, I am not mark Wahlberg


The famed anti-vaxxer? How charming.