Metaphysical Issues (Rolling)

Kind of worry a lot that my issues are bullshit issues because humans are just animals and have achieved literally nothing in the grand scheme of things. but maybe because of the fact I’m aware of this, I should be fine about it.

FUCK

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All life is meaningless.

Then again so is the idea that meaning is meaningful.

This means you might be free to decide for yourself the highest laws from which the universe operates

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P.s thinking is fun but be careful and mindful, it can trigger anxiety and depression

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free to decide. not free to operate, of course, which begs the question.

I’ve always believed deep down that nothing matters, I mean it seems so obvious, once I die ill likely have no more sense of the passage of the next thousand years than the ones before my birth so in an instant everything my life and values were built around disappears.

Then again I’m a human being and want love.

It’s a pickle!

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honestly would’ve preferred to have been born a dog (assuming they’re not racked with this sort of fundamental doubt).

what a life.

Shit just think I briefly tapped into a memory before/at my birth for a second then.

Fuck that was wild

Reminds me of a kozelek lyric about cats not being aware of their own mortality

When you have a dream and you have had that dream before, how do you know it’s not built into the dream to believe you’ve already dreamt it?

yeah. deja vu does my nut.

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Wonder what I did with all my philosophy books/whether I can flog them online for decent money

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Got a big fucking Marx book if any of my fellow leftys want it?

I’m aware of the irony so you can just have it for free

read this really trashy pop “”““philosophy””“” book about a guy and his dog and it was kinda crap but there was one bit where he talked about how he ran the same route every day and even though he got bored as shit and found it depressing after a week or two, his dog seemed like it was having the time of its life every time they went.

not sure what my point is. dogs are great though.

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Seriously, don’t even start me on deja vu - my anxiety seems to have crossed the wires of how my memory works to the point where I experience massive deja vu roughly twice-daily, and get (not always unpleasant) memory pop-ups all the time. I actually went to the doctors because I felt like I could see the future and it was freaking me out. She looked at me like I was completely insane, which was fair because that’s how it makes me feel. Maybe DiS can sort it.

  • Can Shiggles see the future?
  • I’ve already told you you can’t see the future Shiggles you plum.

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Never known a dog but bet they would be great for stopping you ruminating on things

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Mates this poll is stupid, I’ve fucked up my one chance of a good diagnosis! Just like I knew I would.

Told you you could see the future!

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This post is a deeply resonant poem

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I’ve been thinking about this meaninglessness a lot the last couple of months, as I’ve been really sick, and I reckon it both is and isn’t quite right - like ultimately in the cosmic sense of things it’s more likely than not that we’re not gonna be particularly important, as the whole of humanity will just be a speck on the timeline. But at the same time, the general course of human society and stuff is shaped collectively, not by individuals, and so our lives are super meaningful in that sense, as we need to contribute and help shape that course (towards fully automated luxury gay space communism, obvs). And thennn in a lifetime-sense our actions towards those around us help shape their lives, and so by saying our lives/actions are meaningless we’re also kind of denying our friends/loved ones agency and saying they’re meaningless too, which is a bit unfair. BUT THEN, the way society is structured, especially with new technologies and that, we’re steered and shaped in so many ways that our actions are if not predetermined then hugely limited by these structures, and so maybe we are perhaps somewhat meaningless after all? Unless we act to smash these systems and create more meaningful choices and actions perhaps… Ohh I’ve overthought all of this, the desperate search for purpose is confusing. Christ this turned into a rambly mess.