Minor incidents / accidents you've been involved in recently

I knocked a full unused toilet roll off a windowsill straight into the toilet on the weekend. Idiot.


Accidentally played a flat third etc etc


Lost two masks in the space of an hour there and had to improvise one for the train journey home.

stubbed a slightly ingrown toenail extremely hard against the kitchen step and screamed the house down

1 Like

The most painful thing that can happen IMO. I’m sorry you went through this.


Spilled a bit of beer on my mum’s new sofa, she was not happy.

Nearly shit myself out for a run the other day but managed to keep it up there

it was the most painful thing that’s happened to me for maybe a decade I think. My mum thought I was going to be on the floor covered in blood or something from the sound.

Knocked over the child of Prague at my parents’, head rolled right off. Serious omen


what if he stubbed his bollock against the kitchen step? would that be more painful?

it would not

No, stubbing an ingrown toenail is more painful than getting smashed in the bollocks.


Fired a jumbo party cracker in someone’s front room at a party when I was 17, cleanly decapitated a statue of a virgin mary, and my life has been terrible since.


Fell off my bike sideways twice yesterday after becoming a Clipped In Wanker

1 Like

Slipped on water in the kitchen and fell on my bad knee yesterday, it really stings

thank you.

1 Like

was caught smoking in a non-smoking area and got told off.

Last night I stubbed my toe on a doll’s wooden cot and I went to bite my thumb to stop myself from swearing in front of the kids but I actually bit the edge of my phone and took a bit out of the corner of the screen.


You have a very powerful jaw, that’s something to be proud of

Cycled home on Friday night, got back as the oat milk was being delivered so took it in. Managed to drop it as I opened the fridge, which I’m blaming on cold hands, the bottle smashed and thick milk went everywhere. Thank god it wasn’t dairy because there’s probably still remnants under the fridge.

Thanks. I hope to monetise this somehow to pay for a new phone.