Mistakes you never seem to learn from

You will never be able to eat a regular size portion of fish and chips, get a small ffs.

Moving large pieces of furniture by yourself will always result in days of intense back pain. Yes, even if it’s just half a metre.

You will always tear off too much foil. Think you’ve intentionally torn off less? Still too much.

Sure, you could buy that book, but you know you’re never going to read it, right?

Slimming World is a scam you idiot (hopefully have finally learned from this one).

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The right lane to go towards Stockton at that roundabout. Every bloody time.


No, mustard really, really is hot. You don’t need that much.


Do not let the kids fall asleep before bed. Oooh, enjoyed your 30 minutes respite did you? Now enjoy a bedtime protracted by HOURS! Mhahhaha


Everytime my DiS Premium subscription renews.

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“I’ll just check DiS for a couple of minutes, then I’ll do some work”


Empty the washing machine filter before it goes into error mode mid-wash.

Test the water temperature before getting into the bath.

Getting out of bed and going to work


‘Going for a nap’ after 7pm is never going to be just a ‘nap’.

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You always cook too much rice and you’re scared of reheating it so pls make less in future. No, that’s still too much. Probably about 60% of that. That’ll do.

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open hot oven → glasses steam up, never learn


You literally couldn’t make it up

Fucking impossible to do as well due to a stupid filter design. You have to put the whole thing on stilts then open it a bit at a time with a bowl underneath, but because the flap that covers the filter doesn’t remove it gets in the way and makes it splash all over. Whoever designed it will have a special place in hell.

Don’t. Read. The. Comments.


Now then: what do you do to clear the steam when this happens?

  • step away
  • move your head towards the oven

There probably won’t be any actual news when the Boards of Canada and My Bloody Valentine threads are bumped.

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all of them

Dominos will ALWAYS leave you feeling like you’ve been hit by a train for the next 24 hours, STOP ORDERING IT

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putting clean clothes away as soon as they come off the rack is actually better in every way and leaving them to sit on the floor for days somehow makes you feel not good?

sometimes “new is always better” is a lie and just stick with things you already know are really good! (see: new silly breweries, new takeaways, new massage places)