Modern British Cuisine


#1

Can we use this thread to collate all the worst stereotypes of Modern British Cuisine, as exemplified by the majority of MasterChef: The Professional types?


#2

that lady who made salmon with strawberry muller rice made me so angry


#3

Not keen in anything that looks like shit smeared across a plate.


#4

I agree, but that is definitely not MBC.


#5

tell you what i’m not on board with - offal

fine - offal is ok if it’s cheap.

cheap offal = tasty, fine
expensive offal = NO. just give a a steak or a lamb chop. if you’re going to serve me offal then i’m not paying the same as i would for a cut of meat that is 10x the price


#6

british cuisine is just pies isn’t it? that’s all we’ve got


#7

Puddings too (steak and kidney).


#8

Literally couldn’t believe it when I saw they were setting a fucking basic carbonara for a skills test the other night and then was even more flabbergasted when two of them fucked it up


#9

After Marcus actually told her twice not to do that:

‘You know that’s not gonna work?’
‘I think it will’
‘It definitely won’t’
‘Strawberry rice pudding and overcooked fish is a winner, mate’

  • gets eliminated

‘I just don’t think they were ready for my ideas’


#10

is steak and kidney the only savoury pudding?

you wouldn’t have a chicken and leek pudding would you?


#11

Yorkshire.


#12

Can’t think of any.


#13

Google also suggests pease pudding. Im not sure I’m ready to find out what that is.


#14

yes, THIS:

weird tear drop shaped sauce or mash or something that looks like baby sick, GO AWAY


#15

How many times have contestants on Masterchef done strawberry with fish and every single time it gets them eliminated? It’s unbelievable


#16

Guys, this is NOT a MasterChef thread.

We can talk about pies, but only as concerns the role they play in MBC.


#17

Anyone who goes on one of these and talks about:

  • ‘putting their own unique spin on it’
  • ‘bringing new ideas’
  • ‘concepts’

will be shit, but probably hilarious to watch. Love it when the conceptual geniuses fuck up skills tests because they can’t actually cook that well and are just throwing random ingredients together.


#18

Haven’t watched Masterchef Professionals in about five years, but do they still do scallops or spun sugar all the time?


#19

this year it is:

sweetbreads
pork 3 WAYS
fish with something weird


#20

There was a skills test with scallops the other day. At least two of the chefs finished with plasters on their fingers that weren’t there when they started - one tried opening it with a chef’s knife, and the judges were wincing.