This weekend I went into Next to get some new shirts for work, and spend a voucher I’d got for Christmas.
Went to the till with my daughter and handed over the voucher (which was a festive Christmas design) and the cashier went “oh, good stuff, is this you spending the voucher your kids got on yourself?”
I had no idea why she assumed that, nor why she thought it right to comment on it, and I didn’t know what to say and how to explain to her that it was mine without sounding like a prick, so I just laughed and said “nah, not really”.
full disclosure; I was tired, had been on the train all day, and was up at 5am to get to Glasgow, but jesus, I didn’t know how to react. weird, eh, I am a function adult.
Whenever I’m caught by surprise by conversation I’m struck dumb. Was walking out of a pub garden yesterday and a guy who I passed just said “Warm, huh?”, and I was just like “Mmmmmm”.
I was getting off the plane yesterday and I got my case down which was super heavy because I foolishly bought some plates. It took me by surprise a bit and the rush of people behind me wanting to get off made me let out a small “aaaah” when I got it down.
A few rows behind where the whole plane had cleared off was a lady still sorting her stuff out and she very gently and slowly said “Are you okay?” and I was just taken aback by someone asking if I was ok after I just let out a small sound. Like what were you going to do stranger? If I said no i’m not ok i’ve pulled a muscle now would she had leaped up and massaged me?
It was very confusing so I just said “yes” and left.
Almost all of the moments. If I had a pound for every awkward laugh I’ve let out in response to something not even remotely funny because I suddenly forgot how words work I could probably pay for someone to follow me round feeding me dialogue.
When a mate’s just got off stage after his band’s played and asked me, “Did you like it?” and I thought they were terrible. Me: “You could do with a pint after all that ? What’re you having?”
this was just before she told me she was thankful not to be working in the bakery that day, as the weather was warm.
she illustrated this with a tale about her black colleagues complaining it too hot with her replying that they cannot complain as they are black and could suffer the heat far better than her