Moments when you're not really sure what to say


#1

This weekend I went into Next to get some new shirts for work, and spend a voucher I’d got for Christmas.

Went to the till with my daughter and handed over the voucher (which was a festive Christmas design) and the cashier went “oh, good stuff, is this you spending the voucher your kids got on yourself?”

I had no idea why she assumed that, nor why she thought it right to comment on it, and I didn’t know what to say and how to explain to her that it was mine without sounding like a prick, so I just laughed and said “nah, not really”.

full disclosure; I was tired, had been on the train all day, and was up at 5am to get to Glasgow, but jesus, I didn’t know how to react. weird, eh, I am a function adult.


#2

That’s really weird of her, who would give a small child a next voucher anyway


#3

More to the point…what the hell is a function adult?


#4

the dial essential crank the power


#5

well that clears that up.


#6

What I usually do is smile and go “errrrrrrrrr” then I walk away and a few hours later think of a good response.


#7

I am a function adult
the dial essential cranks the power
well that clears that up
well that clears that up
well that clears that up
[airhorn]


#8

Whenever I’m caught by surprise by conversation I’m struck dumb. Was walking out of a pub garden yesterday and a guy who I passed just said “Warm, huh?”, and I was just like “Mmmmmm”.

Good one, no words.


#9

I was getting off the plane yesterday and I got my case down which was super heavy because I foolishly bought some plates. It took me by surprise a bit and the rush of people behind me wanting to get off made me let out a small “aaaah” when I got it down.

A few rows behind where the whole plane had cleared off was a lady still sorting her stuff out and she very gently and slowly said “Are you okay?” and I was just taken aback by someone asking if I was ok after I just let out a small sound. Like what were you going to do stranger? If I said no i’m not ok i’ve pulled a muscle now would she had leaped up and massaged me?
It was very confusing so I just said “yes” and left.


#10

Asked my neighbour in my hometown how she was and she said ‘well, mercury is in retrograde, so you know…’

Erm, yeah


#11

Almost all of the moments. If I had a pound for every awkward laugh I’ve let out in response to something not even remotely funny because I suddenly forgot how words work I could probably pay for someone to follow me round feeding me dialogue.


#12

When my neighbour said “what is a monkey anyway, is it an animal?”


#13

When a mate’s just got off stage after his band’s played and asked me, “Did you like it?” and I thought they were terrible. Me: “You could do with a pint after all that ? What’re you having?”


#14

Saw my neighbour in the garden whilst I was fetching the bikes from the shed. She said ‘it’s too hot to cycle today’.

what the wtf can you reply to that? let’s agree to disagree?


#15

yeh…baking mate


#16

Ahhh i am fine, thanks for asking


#17

yes of course its an animal!


#18

yeh mate…really enjoyed it


#19

not for me…but im nails


#20

what does that mean?