Monday evening

What’s everyone up to?

I ordered that thing that was going viral for my girlfriend’s niece and it arrived.


Making dinner for my maw and me. Then probably play Switch on the sofa while she witters on about some shite telly that I’ve already said I don’t watch.

Listening to a podcast, making leek and mushroom risotto and drinking a lager or a few

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I’m making some misery pasta and waiting for my flatmate to get back so I can use his phone to make a series of extremely boring calls about suspicious activity on my account and the phone I attempted to buy yesterday (I think they might be related, but who knows)

Working. Cooking dinner. Working some more.

It’s pide time


Went to see Mamma Mia 2 - enjoyable nonsense particularly when the v. young kids in the audience (why ?!) were asking their mums why everyone was laughing at the line ‘he makes my vagina flutter’. Don’t really fancy any dinner so will probably end up eating crisps later. Love island final tonight.

Feel like I need to say something indie now to make up for the above paragraph.



Went to H&M to buy a shirt and some new jeans after training, got asked by THREE different people to give them advice on clothes. I was wearing a hoodie, baseball cap and shorts with a baselayer, so didnt look as if I worked there


Now I have a very silly amount of washing up to do. God. I can’t be fucked.

Hello Niki, I love how you have done your living room and I particularly love your Low poster. If you could please PM your address then I will come to steal it, if you could have some pide left out for me too that would be lovely, ta.


I feel very drained. I wish the news agents across the road actually did some decent dark chocolate, it feels like that would help.

Going to have kedgeree for dinner and start watching ‘Parks And Recreation’ for the first time!


In for a shit night I think. Baby had her jabs today and is a grisly nightmare.

Going to get through it with calpol (for her) and beers (me and the TV). Did find out today that my mum spent pretty much the first two years of my life banging calpol down my throat to keep me calm which probably explains why I spent much of my teens and twenties trying to get as high as possible at every opportunity.


GL Scorpios, post-immunisation grislyness can be a nightmare (though obviously infinitely better than the nasty diseases they won’t catch thanks to them).

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tea is those spinach filled pasta things and a packet of mini cheddars. today, i am a king.

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A friend is getting married in Spain and I’ve turned down going. He hasn’t invited my girlfriend (of 18 months) which I think is a bit odd, and also I can’t make a holiday out of it so the whole going to a wedding in Gran Canaria in August thing is incredibly expensive for a weekend. 2nd wedding abroad that I’ve turned down this year for similar reasons. It’s bumming me out a bit this evening tbh.

Found out today that my wee niece is 96th percentile in weight for her age, but 30th percentile for height.

Absolute UNIT.


isn’t the general rule +1 and you can bring someone you’ve met off tinder the night before if you want?

Was talking about this kinda thing earlier with my family. Fuck the expectation that people drop everything and pay fucking loads to go to your wedding abroad

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getting a NEW YORK * PARIS * PECKHAM tattoo would be a bad idea, wouldn’t it?

  • terrible
  • yeah go for it

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