Monday thread

Oh shit. I’d better steer clear.

When he was on Strictly one my daughters was convinced that he and I were the spitting image of each other. Seeing him in real life has exacerbated how much of an insult this was.

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Oh mate, I’m sorry

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When I want to remember how to spell Gregg I simply think of this scrambled egg machine, Scraegg

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this video is the extent of my Gregg Wallace knowledge

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He’s wearing a cardie today, and a flat cap. I’ll try and get a picture for you…

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I’ve liked this, but I’m not sure why.

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tbf, check out those calves

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Someone I know goes to the same (fancy) gym as Gggregggg, and was once getting changed and drying as he was doing the same on the bench opposite. Long story short, Gregg bent over at an inopportune moment and he almost put his nose up Gregg’s arse.

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Think someone might need to check on kermit after this one.

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Trying really hard not to strangle my flatmate. Bought a new suite, paid to get it delivered, the old one was basically an office settee, like sitting on a pile of bricks. The delivery guys brought it up to the landing. I asked the flatmate to help me move the old one out. Wouldn’t do it. Said i didn’t ask him about changing it so he shouldn’t have to help. Then said he’s not a labourer and was too busy.

Won’t give me access to the garage. It’s seperate to the flat and packed with old furniture. He doesn’t contribute to the cost, but to save him lumping his bike upstairs i gave him the key. Asked to borrow it for an hour, wouldn’t have it. Explained it was the only key and just got a “well, that’s your fault”.

I get text messages if there’s more than one toilet roll on the go. He pulled me up because when i’d cleaned the bathroom i’d moved his shower gel slightly. He rang me at work saying he couldn’t use the sink because there was something in it. I asked him how many legs it had. When i got home a bottle of Flash had fell in, which apparently made me a fascist.

I fucking don’t know. I’m really, really wary of dynamics with long-term and short-term flatmates quite often being weird (and largely down to the former), and also that he might have some issues, so try really hard to give him as much space as possible, but the constant logical gymnastics are causing me massive stress.

Sorry for the strange post basically listing extremely mundane shit, but it’s kind of cathartic to get it out.

this sounds absolutely fucking brutal mate, is there no chance of you subtly forcing him out and replacing him with someone less difficult?*

*always a lottery when living with strangers i know

Someone drove into my car enough to stop it from working :sleepy:

Horrible situation man. Have you tried sitting him down and talking this through or is he proper pig-headed about this kind of stuff?

Family out. Day off. Fcking knackered

  • Mow the lawn and tidy up the front
  • Have a whisky and listen to some tunes
  • Do something to a tree

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Bumped into some DiSers at a gig last night, mulling over competing in a couple of weeks.

Living situations like this are utterly stressful. You’re supposed to be relaxed at home, not stressed.

Who’s garage is it and why won’t he give you the key back?

Is it using flash or knocking it into the sink at makes you fascist? It’s a new take certainly.

(Sorry)

If anyone was thinking of buying my book and hasn’t yet, I’m including the postcards for free if you order today.

Thanks.

www.poemsabouttrees.com

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Just helped my colleague navigate the secret santa website we used so he could view his secret santa name.

He got me :upside_down_face:

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Morning

I’m waiting for my hotel breakfast to come - I’ve ordered eggs Benedict cos I’m not hungry enough to go full breakfast buffet. Hope I’ll gets chance to really go for it in the next couple of days though.

I’m woke up loads in the night and that combined with beers means I’m feeling pretty groggy.