most ill-judged present you've ever received?


inspired by this from the little britain thread

i received a set of binoculars from a distant relative one christmas as a child, despite never previously having expressed an interest in bird watching or perving on the neighbours


the fanny t-shirt of course.

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Most of them, tbqfh.

Can’t really participate in this without feeling awful, so ahm oot.

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Last couple of Xmas days my ex’s parents have given me a DVD just so I have something to open when I’m round there with the kids. 2017 was Jason Manford Live, last year was John Bishop Live… Really need to get around to getting them onto eBay.


I think the most ill-judged presents are where someone thinks “hmmm what’s their specialist, deep rooted and loved hobby/profession/interest? I know. I’ll just get them something about that” and they get like an entry level present on that theme.e.g. buying a photographer a book entitled “How to take nice photos” or something.

My mum used to always buy me really shitty history books aimed at people who were interested in neither history or books.


I got a plastic sumo toy from a good friend for a birthday or xmas, can’t remmeber, who usually gives great gifts. I have never expressed anything about sumos so was taken aback. Remember brandishing the sumo and wailing to my family later like IS SHE SAYING IM FAT? IS THAT WHAT THIS IS?


my mate’s ma once got him this as she knew he liked stand-up



My favourite example of this is an ex who was absolutely obsessed with Simon & Garfunkel. Properly, properly obsessed. Got woken up in the night once by her parents calling from a concert in the US and then her being in floods of tears that she couldn’t be there.

Anyway, one year her best friend got her The Best of Simon & Garfunkel on CD.


My Dad’s name is the same as the name of a famous dead king. The Christmas of the year when it all kicked off in earnest with my family, my mother in-law, knowing I like badges, gave me a badge she had, while visiting the city where the famous king with the same name as my dad, was buried, bought. The badge stated “I Love [name of famous dead king, whose name matches my dad’s]”. She gave it to me, explaining how she realised it was ill-judged given the circumstances, but thought that it was funny so wanted to give it to me anyway. Pretty sure I quietly slumped off to the kitchen and necked a bottle of wine at that point.


The 8th series of Charmed on DVD.



Small mercies, I guess!

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It was a bit much when my mother bought me the karma sutra for my birthday.


I have given a lot of Superman/Batman stuff to charity shops.

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Richard Ashcroft’s debut album

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an air freshener for a car

(I can’t don’t have a car and can’t drive)


hope this balances the scales of my conscience a bit…

oh god just remembered buying my sister and her husband a massive, massive sun clock in a retro 70s style with wooden sunbeams splurging out all of the sides on metal poles. next visit i noted they didnt have it up, they said they loved it but as it ticked it had to go in the loft cos they couldn’t stand ticking clocks. Good and kind excuse by them but oh god I cringe when I think of that fucking clock.


My mum is a big coffee drinker, at least 8 cups a day including one before bed to help her sleep. She always drinks bog standard Nescafe instant, so one Christmas my little sister decided to get her a big fancy coffee machine so she could have coffee that was a bit nicer. Mum’s reaction was literally exactly the same as in Father Ted when Mrs Doyle gets given the tea-maker, utter fury. Not sure she even said thank you. It never got taken out of the box.


please don’t tell lies on the internet for likes


“Hey, he likes books, right?”


I have been given earrings many times. I don’t have pierced ears or pierced anything.

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