Moving House Anecdotes Thread

I’m moving house. Rented to rented, fuck buying houses.

I want funny and jovial jokes. Jovijokes.

I have one - was moving between two flats in Aberdeen and had to lift my fish tank down four flights of stairs. Emptied the water out to a minimal level, carried it with a mate down, got it into the back of his car, he drove it round the corner to the new place while I walked. I arrived to find him, hands on hips, as in his concentration hed forgotten to take the car out of gear when he parked, and the whole thing jolted sloshing mucky shit water around the back seat.

Helped my girlfriends brother and his family move a few years ago, Liverpool to Liverpool, not far but a full house of stuff. His wife had booked a cheap removal firm online based in the Midlands, we’re talking £150 tops. Two guys in a transit van rock up first thing in the morning, walk into the house, take one look around at the amount of furniture and boxes, say they’re just going to reverse the van up to the front door, only to just drive off, never to be seen again.

We laugh about it now but at the time was pretty stressful. They managed to get a local firm in next day for about £500, four lads and a massive truck did the lot in a few hours.

During the same weekend, the grandparents were also over to look after their kids round at our flat whilst everyone else packed up the house. Grandad (my future father in law) told our unstable steroid loving neighbour to piss off after he got told off for chucking a cigar butt in the bushes outside. Very nearly came to blows as neither was backing down, kids (3 and 5 at the time) crying with all the shouting. Girlfriend had to step in and diffuse the situation. Pretty scary stuff.

Good luck with your move!

I’m in Vienna semi-regularly, I’ll pick if up for you if you want.

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found a previous tenant’s vibrator in the attic, along with a photo of someone (possibly her) in the nude


i feel a bit bad for laughing but on the other hand it’s not the most pleasant thing to find, and she left quite a lot of her stuff and never came back for it so i’m guessing she thought the tidying up fairy was going to throw it out for her?

Moving into a flat, and the next door neighbour came out and said

“Ah, so todays the day you’re moving out eh? Well, good living next to you, stay in touch”

Turns out another brown guy lived there before me, and this guy couldnt tell us apart. So I either missed my doppelganger, or dude is a big ole racist who thinks we all look the same.

he was actually a pretty decent neighbour tbf, hardly saw him after this

Drank so much the night before that the morning of the move I threw up several times in front of the removal men. Then had to be driven from Newcastle to Manchester. That was a horrendous day.


Saw your edit in realtime :grinning:

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Had to smash a bed frame up using only a hammer when I moved into my new flat so I could fit it into a car to bring it to the dump. I made shit of it.

When I moved to Cambridge after breaking up with a long term gf, the man with van who helped me* move tried to set me up with someone he knew who lived across the street from my new flat, after he asked why I was moving.

Now that’s service.

*lifted literally all of the heavy stuff


I decided to have a house party the night before moving out. This was a bad idea. Ended up throwing all of my crockery/cutlery and glasses etc away because i couldn’t face packaging them all up.

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Helping my ex move some furniture from her flat in Petergate, York (incredibly old buildings). She had a massive sofa that we needed to get down some very narrow stairs.

It got stuck. We couldn’t move it. We removed a bannister post. Still couldn’t get it down. Eventually me and a mate got so fucked off with it we found an old hand saw and cut the sofa in 2. Probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do but was incredibly satisfying after 2 hours of struggling with it.


That’s not how saws work!