The curtain closes, and reopens to reveal Gary Lineker in just his underpants, beginning the eulogy as the song ends.
I have left strict instructions for this to play out in full as my open casket slowly inches its way toward the flames
“just the one fixture today…”
makes an awful pun
Football husks Shearer and Wright interject with incorrect opinions
Or use Kasabian and thus your spirit won’t have to phase through a roof
And if it’s a burial
want the flames to start licking around the coffin at the 12 minute mark on Echoes there for maximum emotional impact
Actually, probably this.