Consider the first couple of paragraphs though:
"In 2016, the American people let off a bunch of douchebags. Brock
Turner, a convicted rapist who happened to swim for a team at Stanford,
only served three months for fucking a girl over at a party. Ryan
Lochte, an Olympic athlete that defaced some public property and also
happened to swim for a team, was picked to compete (or dance, rather) in
a ridiculously popular television show. And of course, Donald Trump,
who doesn’t swim for a team but could probably fill 2,000 Olympic
swimming pools with cash and piss, definitely likes to grab women’s
pussies, and we still elected him to be president.
I don’t care that five years have passed since John Pitts was charged of battering his girlfriend. Does a victim of sexual assault forget her attacker in five years? No, certainly not – and so I’m not going to write about Surfer Blood
without reminding everyone of Pitts, who has never apologised in
public, and has consistently lied about his criminal record. (He WAS
charged, the day he was arrested; those charges were only dropped when
he accepted a plea and pass deal, wherein he had to plea guilty and
complete a batterer’s intervention program. Look it up, if you don’t
If I were the guy from Surfer Blood, I’d strongly consider libel action - the writer doesn’t seem to be able to distinguish between “assault” (which can be something as innocuous as pushing somebody) and “sexual assault” which is something far more serious.
At any rate, I don’t particularly think it’s necessary in a review of a record.