my grand dad is dying and I don't know what to do

most of his family live in hampshire, im in kent. he decidided not to get chemo. I don’t know what odds they gave him but he turned it down.

I’m really sorry to hear this :cry:. Where is he based? Xx

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I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you are able to get to see him and spend time with him. I expect you’d both find that really valuable. Lots of us on here will have gone through similar experiences and know how hard it can be, so please use this community in any way that’s helpful.


There’s no real one thing to do really so follow your instincts. Do what you feel is best and what can help you and your family get through the time as best you can, and live as he would’ve wanted you to.

I’m sorry, never really sure what to say about this sort of thing as its so difficult and there are no answers and we all deal with things differently but I hope you have a friend or family member you can talk to. Sending virtual hugs xxx

Lots of love to you. It’s always a really hard and sad situation with no right way to deal with it.

Lots of us have gone through it so keep talking xx

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I’m sorry super_dee, it must be a really tough time for you. It’s never easy but with all the uncertainty still around it must be even harder right now.

I don’t know if this is helpful but my dad decided not to have chemo to treat his cancer, and although he only had a few more years after that decision, I think he was satisfied that he’d made the right choice as it meant he could spend more time with his strength and his hair, and out of hospital and well enough to travel and play with his grandkids. Chemo is the right choice for many people, it can help people to live longer and put their cancer into remission, but it’s a really really rough ride and can make life hard for people with cancer and the people they love while they’re in treatment. Like you I was upset when I found out my dad wasn’t going down the chemo route as it felt like he was giving up his chance at getting better, but it meant he could spend the last part of his life without the terrible side effects and we had more time with him as he wanted to be remembered.

Look after yourself and I hope you get plenty of time with your granddad x


I’m so sorry

I lost 2 of my grandparents to cancer. They both accepted treatment, which wasn’t expected to save them but bought them some extra months. But in the end the main things that mattered were that they had enough time to say goodbye and that they had care to make them as comfortable as possible at the end. I have good memories of seeing them both for the last time, of drinking tea with my grandma and my granddad doing the crossword, and them being in good spirits and at peace. I hope you get to spend some time with your granddad x


As others have already said my heart goes out to you. Know what a truly horrible thing cancer is.
Me, I would want to spend as much time with him as possible. But we are all different, you must do whatever you feel you need to.
There is always someone here to listen

well that is it then he is gone. he was losing weight but not in a good way since I saw him in early jamuary. I cant reply to every one of you but plsd know your messages meant alot to me. hm. I wish I could talk to him. tell him I love him. he would hate that 'cause he was an old fashioned mans man but I wish I could tell him I love him and me and sarah will keep the gutters clear.


Hope you’re ok…it’s a horrible thing and always so sad. Stay strong X


very sorry for your loss

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As others have already said very sad and sorry for your loss.