My grandfather always used to say to me “if you’ve got a field and there’s fuck all going on in it

put some horses in there or summat”


grow some wheat so you can be a naughty person and run through it.

Wish I had a field

What’s for tea?

“Shite with sugar on it”.

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Move some conductive wires through it and make electricity?

Make lemonade!

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Most likely your grandfather accidentally bought a job lot of horses on eBay and was trying to sell them on

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He was a canny ol devil

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The first draft of the twelve days of Christmas needed some work.
(come on this works well!)

I’m having second thoughts about this…


this is a blatant lie

How dare you defecate on the memory of my late grandfather!