My latest get rich quick scheme


#1

Info Wars have proven that the conspiracy theory market can be tapped into (The Thick Pound?) so I’m going to make conspiracy theory Valentines cards.

On front: JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS
Inside: But you can melt my heart

On front: I WOULD WALK TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH FOR YOU
Inside: Because, unlike the sheeple, I know the ends exist

On front: REASONS TO DISLIKE YOU REMIND ME OF THE BEATLES
Inside: They don’t exist

On front: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MOON LANDING AND A NIGHT WITH ME?
Inside: You won’t be faking it

I’m going to be so fucking rich.


My latest get-rich-quick scheme
#2

these are excellent


#3

I would buy these


#4

How many should I put you down for?


#5

One of each please


#6

Can I push you to 5 of each? I’ve got a living to make


#7

Ahm oot.


#8

This is a blow.


#9

If you do a pack containing one of each of them for a slightly reduced rate than buying them individually would be I’m willing to buy three packs.


#10

ok, done


#11

How many people are you sending valentines cards to?


#12

12, by my count

and all of them worthy recipients, I’m sure


#13

Zero.


#14

PLOT TWIST