My latest get rich quick scheme

Info Wars have proven that the conspiracy theory market can be tapped into (The Thick Pound?) so I’m going to make conspiracy theory Valentines cards.

On front: JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS
Inside: But you can melt my heart

On front: I WOULD WALK TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH FOR YOU
Inside: Because, unlike the sheeple, I know the ends exist

On front: REASONS TO DISLIKE YOU REMIND ME OF THE BEATLES
Inside: They don’t exist

On front: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MOON LANDING AND A NIGHT WITH ME?
Inside: You won’t be faking it

I’m going to be so fucking rich.

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these are excellent

I would buy these

How many should I put you down for?

One of each please

Can I push you to 5 of each? I’ve got a living to make

Ahm oot.

This is a blow.

If you do a pack containing one of each of them for a slightly reduced rate than buying them individually would be I’m willing to buy three packs.

ok, done

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How many people are you sending valentines cards to?

12, by my count

and all of them worthy recipients, I’m sure

Zero.

PLOT TWIST

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