Info Wars have proven that the conspiracy theory market can be tapped into (The Thick Pound?) so I’m going to make conspiracy theory Valentines cards.
On front: JET FUEL CAN’T MELT STEEL BEAMS
Inside: But you can melt my heart
On front: I WOULD WALK TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH FOR YOU
Inside: Because, unlike the sheeple, I know the ends exist
On front: REASONS TO DISLIKE YOU REMIND ME OF THE BEATLES
Inside: They don’t exist
On front: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MOON LANDING AND A NIGHT WITH ME?
Inside: You won’t be faking it
I’m going to be so fucking rich.
