My pal thinks he's really great because he taught his pet tropical bird the rules of monopoly


Well toucan play that game






As one onion said to the other:
… That shallot





Guy at my work got fired for bringing in his pet bird, it was just a mynah infraction


My pal thinks he’s really great because he taught his pet tropical bird the words of a mid-90s r&b hit.

Well Bobby Brown can play at that game.



Didn’t your mum used to keep tropical birds?

I heard she had a cockatoo in her time


No just chickens


My mate’s buzzy insect could beat that tropical bird at monopoly!

Anything toucan do, fly can do better


I’m currently in East London casting a remake of Star Trek: the next generation totally re-enacted by birds

Something something Canary Wharf


Doesn’t even rhyme


I like onions, garlic, shallots… in fact I like allium.

(I’ve tried this joke before, didn’t work then but who knows?)



Moderators please change “something something” to “my star actor is a” and watch the likes flood in


A woman goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The man says 'this ones on sale cause it used to live in a brothel and its language is pretty bawdy. The woman says ‘that’s fine, I’ve got two teenage daughters, I’m used to it’ She takes it home and it looks around and says ‘ooo new room, very nice’ The daughters come home and it says ‘ooo new room, new girls very nice’ Her husband comes in and the parrot looks around and says ‘hello Keith’
I’ll show myself out.


just checked in to count my likes on this.

is the system broken?


in general? yes

@ruffers and I both agree that the system is, indeed, broken


Wondering the same. Assuming they just get added at the end of the day when Sean’s had a chance to count them