My shitty poems

Didn’t know where beat to stick these so GET ME I’ve made a thread. Did a bunch last night because it was late.

Anyone know how to get more exposure on Instagram? I don’t think what I’m doing is great, but there’s some proper shit out there with thousands of followers.


Was it you who did the 400m hurdles poem? If so, I periodically think back to it and chuckle.

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I went to see Tim Key last night, none of these would seem out of place in his act. That’s very high praise.


I can’t answer your question, but I enjoyed your poems.

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I would copy the hashtags they’re using m9 and ditch them when you get a good following.

Love your work so much, man.

Genuinely funny. Brilliant and funny. As @Antpocalypsenow - very Keysian indeed. Which is a good thing.


It was yeah.

They’re all on my Instagram…page…thing.

And thanks, that means a lot.

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I did a solid lol at Captain Steamer and I’m now following you on Instagram. Beyond that I don’t know anything about anything I’m afraid.


Thanks. I also really like Tim Key - do you think they’re TOO similar?

I read them in his voice on accounts of how I’ve seen him about twelve times or something now.

I will say that his latest set has a lot less poetry in it than his older stuff though.

Can I ask what fonts and programmes you use? Is it just Word? They look gr8

Just Garamond in InDesign. Although I’m sure Garamond in Word would do the trick.

And thanks. YOU look great.

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No that makes sense. Cheers. It’s kind of like trying to write new music, you always worry it’s too similar to artists you like.


(Your poems are also v funny & good but you don’t need to compliment me back)

Did a new one.


Just stopping by to say I really enjoy these, keep it up.



you stuff is great

i’m gonna PM you a link to a demo of track i did featuring my spoken word/poem :grin: be good to know what you think

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I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I want to do a second ‘book’ (or something similar), because everything I’ve done since the first one is objectively better. I obviously can’t afford to pay to get them printed, so I was thinking of doing a kickstarter type thing.

Thing is, I don’t know how much I’d need. I know the original cost £160 to print 60 copies, which I charged £10 each for. They all sold, so that can’t be too astronomical. If I just said a £10 pledge would get you the book, then maybe charged extra for a snazzier offering, do you think that’d be alright? Means after 16 people I’d be able to sort printing, then anything else is profit. Would also mean if I got more interest than that, which I hopefully would, I could do a bigger print run, or something a bit fancier. Problem then is I would only know that once the campaign had started.

This a half-formed idea, full of half-formed ideas. Anyone got 2 cents they’d like to chip in with to help me get my head sorted and get something going?

Thanks x

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Obviously I’m aware people who pledge are only charged once the goal has been reached.

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