my wife says she'll leave me if I keep stealing things from John Lewis

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but that’s a whisk I’m willing to take

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i didn’t realise you were married

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Famous whisk-merchant, John Lewis.

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laughed at this and then shared it with people and they didn’t laugh

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what I’m really after here is more punchlines that use the same setup, so I can assist my brother-in-law in winding up my sister

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My wife said she wanted me to stop doing my flamingo impression, so I had to put my foot down.

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My wife says she’ll leave me if I keep making wagers with satan

But that’s just my daredevil nature

(This is shitter than the whisk one
Think it could be workshopped though)

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My father in law wants me to take over his distillery. I’d like to, but it’s a whisky business

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Making bets with satan

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My wife first demanded a divorce after I came out of the fitting rooms at John Lewis; “you’ve changed” she said.

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They’re only £4.50, tbf

https://www.johnlewis.com/tala-stainless-steel-balloon-whisk-25cm/p110430463?s_ppc=2dx92700079681389504_brand_mixed_BAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIlMzS_e6_hwMVsJRQBh3mMBp2EAQYBSABEgIdDfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

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My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall :slightly_smiling_face:
I said :slightly_smiling_face: :dark_sunglasses:
‘maybe’ :sunglasses:

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My wife was furious when I brought her back a copy of Die Welt and El Mundo from John Lewis. “A FRENCH press you fucking idiot!” She said.

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And who is to say which of these reactions is wrong?

Jokes. Obviously its yours.

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this is a good joke

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My wife left me because I swapped our kitchen utensils for an NFT. She didn’t think it was worth the whisk.

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My spouse has a phobia of whipped cream. You could say that they’re whisk-averse.

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I injured my arm and my spouse the other day, using a food mixer in a reckless fashion. Whisked wife and limb, I did.

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My wife asked me to stop impersonating old Manchester United players
I said I’d do my Best.

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