Naughtiest things you’ve done - a confession thread

Accidentally forgot to scan stuff with those occasionally when I used to go to Waitrose. Completely accidental, you understand.

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Threw loads of stinkbombs in various shops.

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wait a minute, this is a NARC thread! laefly’s a clipe! stop posting everyone, she’s forwarding all this to 101 and the polis.

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I had a blazing argument with a boy at school. At lunchtime he left his clarinet unattended. I stuffed a tuna sandwich inside of it - like right up inside of it.

I still occasionally cringe about it.

Sorry.

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Just went to Tesco and got two croissants but only scanned through one

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Who HASN’T put through all veg as “loose onions” in the self checkout aisle?

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oh my christ.

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Just trying to entertain @grievoustim

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Commited a proper theft once; got arrested and charged and everything.

Despite the scant details on offer here I am absolutely positive that the kid deserved it. Never been more certain of anything.

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Why do i remember this story except last time it ended with someone putting fish in it

Used to rob from the spar and tesco on Piccadilly approach every day for years.

Set of all the car alarms at a car showroom

Threw a traffic cone through an enemies parked car window.

Walked out of several chain restaurants without paying

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What did you steal and how did you get caught?

The nerd excuse is a very handy one

Pushed a mugger into a canal in Amsterdam

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In the petty, minor theft category, I used to work in a library which used to get plenty of up to date cd releases in, which somehow used to keep going missing…

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I did this too and had a proper Robin Hood sense of satisfaction about it because the bookshop operated on sale and return so any books that were “unaccounted for” couldn’t be returned & would count as a sale. Nick a book, pay an author

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once when I was 15 I tipped a mcflurry onto the windscreen of a police car and I felt like Vinnie Jones & Tony Soprano rolled into one

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Long story short:

Lived in a flat above a shop. My flatmate and I found a small door in a bedroom that led to the stockroom at the back of the shop next door. It was a drop down, so we set up a step ladder lowered it down with a rope, then dangled off the edge to stand on it and get down. Nabbed a load of trainers and scampered back up.

Police came round and asked us about it, we pleaded innocence until they mentioned the footprints in the dust going up the wall into the door of our flat.

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