I tell the Ocado man I’m sending back ‘about’ 20 bags, when I know full well there’s only 12. Printing money, mate.

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I feel like it is ok to answer number of bags taken = 0 and then take one afterwards because it was technically true at the time the question was asked (don’t actually do this though, the security man at tesco has his eye on me)

Can I put an example of self service machines sticking it to us in here please?

Just bought lunch from Sainsbo’s, was £2. Saw in my wallet £1.50, put that in, then found another £1, put that in. Nice 50p change, right? 1 coin’ll do, maximum 3. The cunt spews out 40p in 2pence coins, then 2 5ps. Where do these robots get the fucking gall?

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Put through a banana as a loose onion today by accident. Reckon it worked out the same price tbqh tbf.

Standard.

I went through a period of taking all my 2ps and other small change down to use in the machines but it takes ages and you look mega-suspicious/twattish doing it.

Saw a Jamie Oliver where here chopped of the stalked and ‘whizzed’ it up in a blender then cooked it with some anchovies and other stuff and put in on pasta. ‘Great way not to waste it’ I tried this and it tasted horrible!

Never believe that Jamie Oliver shit. I mean I actually love his recipes in general but the 30 minute meal stuff I think clearly shows that doing things fast only really works well if you’re a good chef with so much of this. I remember trying his 30 minute meal pizza. The tomato sauce was far too tart and lacked depth and the pizza didn’t cook evenly. I can well believe his stalk tasted way better but he has the ability to season really well without thinking…

My broccoli stalk was especially tough and your right it helps to have an idea of how long you cook it, gd equipment and how to season it.
The 30min meals annoy me though as if you have all the ingredients in little bowls or jars all out for you, and you dont bother doing the washing up then a lot of meals are only going to take 30mins

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The machines they used to have at Morrisons were great for this. You could literally just pour your change in, rather than have to feed them in one by one.

usually just stick a couple of choco bars in the pocket on the way round tbh. can’t be arsed with fucking about at the checkout.

I cook a variation of this recipe from one of his books (no blender involved in the version I do though)

you remove the outside of the stal, chop it up and fry / steam it down with butter, anchovies, garlic and dry chili

at the end you add some of the pasta cooking water, Parmesan, and the rest of the broccoli which has been boiled/ steamed.

It’s pwoper puka

loose onions £0.75/kg
loose bananas £0.72/kg

The Man wins!

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Yeah, Sainsbury’s were the same, which is where I’d try this but it takes ages to sort and it would keep dumping certain ones.

When I worked in tesco a man argued with someone at the meat counter that he shoudn’t be paying for the fat. I imagine he now goes to the self service tills himself with slabs of meat, cuts off the fat and weighs it all himself.

This is great for sticking it to the man: “you’re taking my NI notes now, aren’t ya big lad!”

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(me talking to the self service machine in my head)

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ITT: http://www.quotes.net/mquote/823864

organic foods for non org prices, expensive nuts for cheap prices, random theft whenever possible (flowers usually), leaving full buggies of groceries for employees to put back, are all done regularly.

I’m sure I get stuck in the queue behind someone doing this every time I use one of these machines. Don’t mind it as much when they’ve actually got the money ready beforehand, but usually it’s some doofus rummaging around in their pockets/bag for ages only to find after all that they haven’t got the right change and have to put a note in anyway to clear the last 3p or whatever.

Filth

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