Something @kermitwormit 's thread reminded me of- how widespread the nasty trick of negging people is with stuff like internet dating.
If you’re fortunate enough to not know what it is, it’s when someone deliberately makes snidey little back-handed comments to lower the other person’s confidence and gain the upper hand in the power dynamic. Internet seduction guides tell clueless young men to do it to trick women into sleeping with them. Seems to go with an idea that dates are a zero sum game- there must be a winner and a loser on this date, and they’re going to get the first punch in.
It was absolutely rife when I tried the hellscape that was attempting internet dating in London. Gay male friends have also complained about it. In fact I was pleasantly surprised when I went for a drink with someone and they didn’t make rude remarks about my appearance or weight or negatively compare me to their ex or the imaginary women they “normally” get. They were always kind of surprised when I’d just leave early. This internet told them it would work?